The Exclamation Mark Blog!

Via Nna

This leads me to the topic I'm about to discuss today: dirty toilets and the inconsiderate acts Singaporean do to exacerbate the whole dirty toilet situation.

Well, every bugger living in this city already know how Singapore is a Garden City (*trying to stifle my laughter*) and how we're always praised for being clean and lauded as being an uber hygienic city. Well, the praise has always been lavishly heaped upon us Singaporeans by foreigners. By what does a Singaporean say about our own city? That it's actually not that clean, the praise is highly exaggerated, that disposing and people spitting on streets are so ubiquitous you can't walk 10 minutes on the streets without encountering some act on inconsideration.

But my pet peeve in particular is not vile oral excretions on the streets. That we can avoid if we see, and usually under the hot sun, the excrements dry up quickly. (ok the thought isn't that pleasant after all).

What I want to talk about here are the rather bad conditions of toilets in Singapore. Generally for the more frequented landmarks and locations, the toilets there are well maintained and a joy to be utilized. Places like the top notch hotels, shopping centres (generally, there're some shopping centres with horrible toilets), and upmarket office buildings in the City area, definitely come with impeccably maintained toilets.

However, for the less upmarket buildings, or the less 'tourist-y' spots, the abysmal standard of toilets there are just beyond comprehension. It's so terribly dirty, you feel like you're transported to some dingy shacks on some impoverished African nation. Anyway these are some of my observations of my experiences in toilets and my thoughts:

(make sure you haven't just eaten your lunch before reading this. it's vomit inducing and will probably get you regurgitating out your breakfast or lunch.)

1) the seat on the toilet bowl is for you to sit. if you think its dirty, get your tissues out to wipe it clean before sitting.

2) if you have to squat, do it on the rims of the toilet bowl.

3) Many Singaporeans litter their excretions outside the toilet bowl when it is so huge, expecting it to grow wings and fly back into the toilet bowl. The toilet bowl is so huge, all you got to do is to place your butt right smack in the middle and you're sure not to miss.

4) Weird men like to let people know they're weird. When men pee, we unzip our flyer and get down to business. Weird men unbuckle their belt, pull down their bloody jeans and underwear and reveal their butt to the whole world. This certain DOESN'T quite scream out "H-e-t-e-r-o-s-e-x-u-al", you know. Behave like a normal man and pee normally without parading your unsightly butt to the whole world, you exhibitionist freak!

5) And oh, it doesn't help that your butt resembles two huge potato wedges.

6) When you've just came out of a huge concert or gathering and have to go to the toilet, being a guy can be really beneficial. The female queue to the toilet is comparable in length to the Great Wall of China while the there's nary a queue to the male toilet at all.

7) I'm bloody sick of seeing those uncles outside the toilet collecting 20 cents stating its the "entry fee". What bollocks! Did these greedy uncles ever fork out a single cent into the construction of the toilets?!! Did they have any significant contribution in the operation of the toilet? Even if they do have a stake in maintaining the overall cleanliness (or lack thereof) of the toilet, they should be paid a cleaner's pay, and not leech money out of poor customers like us.

8) And for goodness sake, if you have the audacity to collect money from us, keep the toilets decent. Meaning, clean floors, no tissues strewn all over the place, no clogged sinks, and replenish the supply of toilet paper regularly.

9) Some guys are either blind or too dumb. When you see a urinal clogged up with tissue and urine, please have the common sense to use another one! What are you trying to do, fill it up to the brim so that it'll overflow and splash its sickening contents unto the already dirty floor?


Ok, that's all I can think of for now. All the disgusting thoughts I'm trying to suppress are driving me nuts.