Tuesday, August 30, 2005 

The Return of Disjointed Posts and A Stunning Revelation

Be patient, my dear readers. It's been obvious I've been getting a little lazy the past couple of days, not being in the right frame of mind to post coherent, complete posts on this blog. Disjointed posts are back for now, just some random balderdash to keep you guys who take the effort to visit this blog entertained.

By the way, I feel it's time to admit that Mr Moron and The Rogue Slayer (Raymond) are actually one and the same person.

Now, I know it's pretty stunning to some who've actually followed this blog for a loooong time, considering that Raymond and I seem to bear little similarity to each other at all. Actually it's not that stunning, as I'd explain later, but for now I have to apologise to all who may actually be offended by this truth, or feel that I've been in any way being insincere and fake and all. Also, I have to state again clearly that I am not schizophrenic!. Nor do I have bipolar disorders or anything of that sort.

The main reason why I actually created a brand new (fictional) character was because I felt inhibited. There were constraints imposed upon me on what to write. When I wrote stuff that were more angsty and negative in nature, I'd get some self righteous zealots (often Christian) giving me stick. When I wrote things that were more personal and preachy, or something that revolved around God, people often got bored to death. So I figured the best way around it was to create two bi-polar opposites on my blog and carve out their own style. (Admittedly, I post mostly as Mr moron here nowadays, I post on my other moniker on another blog).

Mr Moron may be a fictional persona, like the tons of others out there like Bubblemunche, (and Rockson likely being a fictional character too), but he's actually a facet of my personality. I can be at times be cynical and sarcastic, really caustic with my speech, though it's never my intention to hurt anyone's feelings. Still, i can get carried away sometimes and become downright mean. In order words, I just try to amplify certain genuine feelings I have and exaggerate them so that I have sufficient rants for Mr Moron to post up.

but it's becoming really draining on me to be alternating between two completely different personas, although I genuinely enjoy the diversity it allows me in blogging. And I like their different personalities as well. But it's really tough trying to compartmentalise certain feelings, and segregate them and allocate those feelings to different personas. It sucks to be a double minded man.

So from this day forth, I'll be posting back as The Rogue Slayer on this blog. comments wise, if I have been posting on your blog as Mr Moron all this while, I would naturally be sticking to that. Like for example, I feel more engaged with certain blogs when I put on my 'Mr Moron' persona. I don't go to Ms.B's blog or Intellectum Valde Amat with the mindset of a Christian zealot hoping to get some spiritual nourishment. I try to laugh with them, empathise and see things from their viewpoint, which isn't really hard actually.

Anyway I figured that, whether I post all my most sincere, genuine feelings on another blog or not is inconsequential. If people really want to find it, they would. And I think during this period when there's a whole lot of hoo-haa over blogging privacy, i realized that it doesn't matter where I blog out my innermost thoughts, it's still as accessible as any other blog in the planet.

Also I kind of got an epiphany while reading ms.b's blog awhile back. She made a stunning statement (albeit a very simple, earnest one) that kind of shook me up a little.
She said:

It feels good to be loved or at least appreciated.....Sometimes I think all people need is a little kindness. I don't know if it works for the rest of you, but a little kindness does a lot for my mental state.

If anyone of you here follows her blog, when was the last time she actually said something like that? I would never in a million years expect her to write something like that on her blog (even if she really does feel that way) considering the tough, cynical girl reputation she has garnered for herself. But she did! 2 whole sentences dedicated to love and kindness.

Which led me to wonder: No point being ashamed of penning down my poignant thoughts or ethereal elucidations. Just be myself, lah!

Hope you guys aren't shocked Raymond and I are the same person (GEEZ I love talking about myself in the 3rd person!). I think some of you saw that coming!


Funny Conversations I hear on the Bus

Of late, I've been pretty convinced that experiences on public buses or trains make for great stories. In my daily commutes between home and other places, I utilise both the bus and the MRT, and while it can be troublesome and tiring travelling for more than an hour every single time, weird experiences often keep things fresh for me, and make travelling via public transport less mundane. Besides, taking one many taxis has really been hurting my pocket.

A few days ago, I just encountered 2 students from a girl's school, most likely some Catholic school, making a rather unusual conversation. These days I see some of these girls on the same bus all the time, and they'd usually be bitching about this girl being immature, that girl being rather selfish, their certain Friend A being close to them but thow they prefer that certain friend they're having the conversation with on the bus. Basically, all the secondary/college school girl crap you have probably heard of a million and one times. I've really gotten so sick of hearing them I just zone out every time I happen to overhear such conversations.

These 2 girls I was on the bus with the other day were first chatting about frivolous, trivial schoolgirl matters, when the conversation quickly developed into how they are so pretty. Erm, yeah, you heard it right. These girls were all wonky all of a sudden, and quickly shifted the conversation to how they are pretty, and their families saying they're pretty, and how they used to be even more pretty in primary school. This of course, elicited every iota of my attention because hey, 2 girls on the bus squealing out loud how they are pretty in front of everyone else? That certainly isn't a scene u see every day.

The girls were like, 'oh you know I was prettier last time' and 'my aunt say I'm quite pretty' and 'oh ya, actually you're really quite pretty!'.

One of the girls soon spoke a line that would forever be etched in my brain as the most shameless/bhb statement in the entire universe (besides all Donald Trump's incessant self ego-stroking)

Girl:I am so pretty that my aunt even used to call my cousin Ugly Duckling last time.

Me: ?!?!?!?!!!!

Sunday, August 28, 2005 

Fatboy Slim makes for Great Saturday Late night listening

I couldn't come up with a better title so I'm just sticking with that.

Saturdays seem to pass by too quickly. But I have Fatboy Slim's music to keep my company.

We've come a long long way together,
through the hard times and the good,
I have to celebrate you baby,

I have to praise You like I should.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005 

One- Nil

Liverpool 1 Sunderland 0
Man Utd 1 Aston Villa 0
Chelsea 1 Arsenal 0

3rd one was a fluke.


Thursday, August 18, 2005 


(Note to all: This post will mention certain bloggers in it. Please do not be offended, if you are mentioned, if I dare to mention you out here, it means I read your blogs and like them generally. This post is about bad blogger aliases. Nothing to do with the blogs itself.)

Recently, I felt very burdened about certain issues, and one of them has had such a dire effect on me, I could not help but slip in thoughts about the subject throughout the day. Yes, in case you haven't exactly grown a brain, my title says it all: bad blogger names.

I'm extremely affected by people using bad blogging aliases/nicknames. Ok correction, not affected, just irritated. For an avid blogder like me, I've realized that blogging monikers reveal a facet of your personality, and more often than not, your blogging aliases give readers a very important first impression for you. Which is precisely why I feel so jittery when I see people using bad blogger nicknames, because blogging nicknames really should show off your online persona, ya know. But I've realized that many bloggers, including some famous ones, have chosen to throw this consideration into thin air and entirely disregarded the importance of having meaning to a blogging nickname.

First stop, there's the sexually ambiguous ones. What I strongly feel is that, if you have drag fantasies or homosexual tendencies, keeping them to your private self would be ideal. Showing off that side of you to the world just isn't very desirable.

I have to name names. Ok ok, Vandice, I'm sorry, but whoever would have guessed that you were a male? I read your blog and love it, but initially when I stumbled upon your blogging nickname, and saw your profile picture, I couldn't have guessed that you were a guy. I mean, what kind of male name is Vandice? Perhaps it could have been the name of a significant person in your life? Either way, this just sound right. I might as well have just called myself Lindsey or some other name like that, if I wanted to keep my sex a mystery. Which isn't good, because i realize the possibility of attracting hot chicks through my blog. I wouldn't want gay men flocking after me. And what's with the profile picture!

Then there's Tinkertailor. I couldn't freaking tell that he was a 'he' until I read other bloggers referring to him as a 'he'. God knows why any normal grown male would choose to take on a name that sends serious schoolgirl-vibes throughout the blogosphere. I mean, doesn't that name remind you of Tinker Belle, that sneaky little pixie in Peter Pan? And I'm like, tinkertailor... hmm sounds like a pubescent schoolgirl stuck with her little Barbie doll collection. Wouldn't any ego loving normal guy choose to name himself something like Mr Moron to earn brownie points with the chicks? A good blogging name can drastically up your cool factor, ya know. (ok, forgive me for my self indulgence.. and lack of humility)And for the remote chance that you're reading this, I'm totally for your blog. I just have a problem with the nickname, so no offences man.

Ok, then there's those that just doesn't make any sense at all. I've always been a huge follower of Gabriel's blog since way back. And I'm sure as hell glad that he chose to reveal his real name, because no one in the freaking world would want to call him Agagooga by mouth. I'm still trying to get that whole word wrapped around my brain. I don't know what that nickname means, or if it's supposed to mean anything at all. I was thinking about it once, and I believed it was the noise babies make, ya know... "GAAAA....Gooo....GAAA!". Something of that sort. Either way, trust me, if the meaning of his name (of thereof) already confounds you, you wouldn't want to read his blog. You'll just feel intellectually inadequate trying to decipher the mensa-esque mumbo jumbo on his blog.

Next up are the typical schoolgirl cutesy names, like *~mImI~* or MyDarLinGrOx!!~~^_^. Of course, these names are rather ubiquitous, and are rampant among the secondary school-ish blogs. Of course, there're the fair share of more prominent bloggers using act-cutish names, but no point mentioning them here.

Ok, then there're the downright ridiculous ones. SmalldickBig**** would be an example. Ok this one's self explanatory. 'Nuff said.

I kind of understand bloggers want cool nicknames to make them sound hip and all, but they really need to find something that symbolises something about them. I have often wondered what the famous blogging daddy mrbrown's name means. I thought he was named after James Brown, but then again, that theory's rather plausible.

There's also the bloggers who use their own names as their blogging monikers, which I have nothing against, except that it's boring and dull, and now even cliched. Before it was like all cool and unique and a way of showing you are being yourself, but now it's just boring meaningless. Of course, if you want to use your real name as your nickname, you can add a touch of class to it by shortening it. For example my co-blogger's nick, lyn, is a great example. It's the short form of Marilyn, but it makes people think it was originally Lynn, minus the 2nd 'n'. Now that is such a cool nick! Heh.

Finally, for the sake of equality, do not pick a chinese hanyu pinyin nickname for goodness sake. I mean, even if it's a local blog, not all the readers out there understand chinese, and they wouldn't even know how to pronounce the nicknames properly. Isn't that tantamount to discrimination? And oh, if you have your blogging moniker pronounced as 'Xia-suay'(hokkien for lose face) on National Television, then you know it's time for you to seriously consider changing your blogging name.

Yikes. I better stop this post now before I get over-zealous fans slinging mud at me. I have better things to do with my time than clearing hate mail in my email account.

Blogger names I like:
ms beautifuk

It seems females generally have better taste in names than males, sad to say.

And yes, I know what you are thinking. Like my name says, I'm indeed a moron. well, that's the point, yeah. At least my name is the way I am.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005 

I Hate Dumb Movies

*this post was written 3 weeks ago*

A few weeks ago, I was just writing out a post on the Fantastic Four, but didn't have the discipline to sit down in a go to actually complete it, since I wanted to upload tons of pictures but was way too lazy to. So today, I shall post on another movie I watched recently, with the most minimal amount of pictures.

It garnered rave reviews from critics all over the world, and I think the general (if not unanimous) opinion was that it was a riot of a movie, very very radical.

I didn't like Sin City, if you may ask. It was obviously pure pulp thrill, highly stylistic in terms of narrative and the way the film was shot. And filming an entire movie in black and white in this day and age is unprecedented.

The whole film was yeah, v stylistic. And great credit goes to the cinematographer, really. But I just thought the whole idea of the Yellow Bastard was just way too ridiculous. I mean, an entire film in black and white and now this yellow bastard (whom my friends and I call The 5th Teletubby) comes out of nowhere and gives his crazed look. Blah. He died in the end, which I am glad for but...

He got his testicles ripped off my Bruce Willis. That scene almost made me regurgitate my lunch.

**actually I was gonna complete it but I got too lazy so I'm just putting this up for the fun of putting it up.**

Friday, August 12, 2005 

My Little Willy

I came across this while I was surfing around yesterday.

This is just so NOT right.

Thursday, August 11, 2005 

Happy Belated Bday, Singapore, LAH. I use Singlish too!

Ok, I admit I had to very grudgingly put it up because I couldn't even really be bothered about National Day this year, except for the fact that it was a public holiday and I could go out and have fun. I wanted to post something about National Day this year, but then I realized there was absolutely nothing to blog about National Day. What's there to gush over and discuss about-- soldiers jumping out of helicopers? Fireworks that we see every year? Certainly, those sights are already common and are things we've already taken for granted that we'd definitely see every year.

And so I thought I would have nothing to blog about, until a conversation with Friend A. Friend A and I were talking to a mutual friend, friend B, and we were talking about his good friends/buddies and those he couldn't exactly clique right away with.

Anyway Friend A told me that Friend B couldn't really communicate with another friend, C, because of the way he spoke. Now, C and I are prett good friends, and I thought he was the sociable sort that could get along with almost everyone. It was his amiable, cheerful disposition that made it easy to become friends with him. It wasn't about him being so charismatic, that he had a disarming quality about him, no not that at all. It was just I guess, pure friendliness and cheerfulness.

The reason why Friend B couldn't really communicate with Friend C was due to the fact that Friend C spoke a lot of singlish. Now I'm fine with that, because most of my normal friends do not speak crisp Queen's English anyway, and singlish was our standard language of communication. However, Friend B was a rather Westernized young man, and spoke with a light American lilt to his tone, in other words, he came close to having an American accent, but it was too light to pass off for one. But one of the things he just doesn't get is Singlish. Ok, I understand the fact that some people speak very very heavy, strong Singlish and it can be a little tough to understand them sometimes. That's all understandable. But here was the killer.

Me: So I don't think Friend B has any problem communicating with me right?
Friend A: No leh, actually he has a little.
Me: What?!!

This was their little conversation.
Friend B: I can't understand what Friend C is saying. Mr Moron* also.
Friend A: Nonono, Mr Moron's english is generally good ok.
Friend B: Oh Ok, I think it's just gotta do with the lah's and the lor's.

If the conversations are confusing you, basically Friend B thought my English was bad because I used Singlish and he found it difficult to communicate with me.

This made me darn hopping mad. NO ONE HAD TO EVER DEFEND MY COMMAND OF THE ENGLISH LANGAUGE BECAUSE EVERYONE ALWAYS KNEW I WAS LINGUISTICALLY ABLE! MAN! Seriously, I used to ace my literature and English classes back in secondary school. And back in college, I was the best in my class for General Paper and not to mention one of the best for Literature as well. I know these are not accurate gauges for linguistic proficiency, and are rather inadequate forms of measuring one's linguistic command, but I'm so pissed now I'm just going to use that to justify myself.

And here's a small record of literary achievements I'm proud of: Reading most of Roald Dahl's books by Primary 4 or 5.
Completing The Chronicles of Narnia by Primary 5. (Beat that!)
Reading Thomas Hardy's Far From the Madding Crowd in Primary 6.
Scoring distinctions in English and literature in secondary school AND college.

Ok, I'm showing off, but who cares.

The fact that Friend B doesn't quite grasp the unique sub-language that is Singlish quite astounds me, considering he has been living in Singapore for almost... 16-17 years? The preference to speak perfect English is one thing, but if you can't even understand the most standard forms of Singlish used in conversations all around this country, can you call yourself a Singaporean? I sure do not think you qualify to be one, having been bred and raised in Singapore since young and failing to adequately understand that unique form of communication.

Mind you, I am perfectly, totally capable of speaking impeccable Queen's English IF I WANT TO. Writing wise, I opt not to use Singlish too because I think it can be mentally degrading, especially because writing is not just an outlet of expression but it also entails serious thought to elucidate one's feelings coherently. If we carelessly just utilize too much Singlish in our writings, not only does it look ugly, it shows how little goes into thought on our blogs. But speech and conversation is different. I would find it a huge burden to consciously rehearse the things I want to say in my mind and then speak it out in perfect, crisp Queen's English. It's something I'm capable of, but I rather go with what is natural to me and throw in the 'lah-s' and 'loh-s' for the sake of easy communication. Of course, that would be out of the question if I'm speaking to Westerners/Caucasians. Duh.

I'm darn pissed off. Since when has the usage of Singlish been a distinctive trait of people with a poor command of English? I tell you, half the bloggers out there are an eloquent, articulate lot, but when it comes to conversing in real life, Singlish comes out of their mouths naturally. I hate being judged for having poor English just because I speak Singlish! And no, I don't even use it that often. It's just that occasional lah-s and loh-s. OCCASIONAL. I barely even use hokkien phrases.

Sometimes, the overusage of Singlish can be a tad annoying, I admit. I cringe all the time when I watch Phua Chu Kang. Ok, so I can count with 1 hand the number of times I watched that intellectually degrading show, but for all the few episodes I watched (which was already enough for me), I always remember being rather irritated. More because of the tone of their speech, and their absolutely slapstick crap than the use of Singlish. But I'm digressing.

I think an attempt to eradicate or condemn Singlish as a whole is rather repulsive. The usage of Singlish IS an idiosyncracy of ours, the inhabitants of this little sunny island, and to rob us of that quirk would be to take a big part of our culture away. Singlish is inextricably linked to our self identity as a nation, and I think it should be left that way, considering we have nothing distinctive as a country to speak of. Sentosa? No way, they have Disneyland. Tall skyscrapers? Nah, there're way taller buildings in other countries. Young teenage deliquents? The punks in other countries makes our rebellious teenagers look like little lambs.

What is left to our credit is our reinvention of the most widely spoken language in the world. It's our defining mark, definitely.


Oh, Happy Belated Birthday Singapore. But no, i didn't watch the NDP because the soldiers jumping out of helicopters and the fireworks fails to enthuse me anymore. They try hard to elicit interest, but it's not working. But that doesn't make me any less proud of my country and my culture.

Thursday, August 04, 2005 

Hold Your Breath when You Enter the Toilets.

Via Nna

This leads me to the topic I'm about to discuss today: dirty toilets and the inconsiderate acts Singaporean do to exacerbate the whole dirty toilet situation.

Well, every bugger living in this city already know how Singapore is a Garden City (*trying to stifle my laughter*) and how we're always praised for being clean and lauded as being an uber hygienic city. Well, the praise has always been lavishly heaped upon us Singaporeans by foreigners. By what does a Singaporean say about our own city? That it's actually not that clean, the praise is highly exaggerated, that disposing and people spitting on streets are so ubiquitous you can't walk 10 minutes on the streets without encountering some act on inconsideration.

But my pet peeve in particular is not vile oral excretions on the streets. That we can avoid if we see, and usually under the hot sun, the excrements dry up quickly. (ok the thought isn't that pleasant after all).

What I want to talk about here are the rather bad conditions of toilets in Singapore. Generally for the more frequented landmarks and locations, the toilets there are well maintained and a joy to be utilized. Places like the top notch hotels, shopping centres (generally, there're some shopping centres with horrible toilets), and upmarket office buildings in the City area, definitely come with impeccably maintained toilets.

However, for the less upmarket buildings, or the less 'tourist-y' spots, the abysmal standard of toilets there are just beyond comprehension. It's so terribly dirty, you feel like you're transported to some dingy shacks on some impoverished African nation. Anyway these are some of my observations of my experiences in toilets and my thoughts:

(make sure you haven't just eaten your lunch before reading this. it's vomit inducing and will probably get you regurgitating out your breakfast or lunch.)

1) the seat on the toilet bowl is for you to sit. if you think its dirty, get your tissues out to wipe it clean before sitting.

2) if you have to squat, do it on the rims of the toilet bowl.

3) Many Singaporeans litter their excretions outside the toilet bowl when it is so huge, expecting it to grow wings and fly back into the toilet bowl. The toilet bowl is so huge, all you got to do is to place your butt right smack in the middle and you're sure not to miss.

4) Weird men like to let people know they're weird. When men pee, we unzip our flyer and get down to business. Weird men unbuckle their belt, pull down their bloody jeans and underwear and reveal their butt to the whole world. This certain DOESN'T quite scream out "H-e-t-e-r-o-s-e-x-u-al", you know. Behave like a normal man and pee normally without parading your unsightly butt to the whole world, you exhibitionist freak!

5) And oh, it doesn't help that your butt resembles two huge potato wedges.

6) When you've just came out of a huge concert or gathering and have to go to the toilet, being a guy can be really beneficial. The female queue to the toilet is comparable in length to the Great Wall of China while the there's nary a queue to the male toilet at all.

7) I'm bloody sick of seeing those uncles outside the toilet collecting 20 cents stating its the "entry fee". What bollocks! Did these greedy uncles ever fork out a single cent into the construction of the toilets?!! Did they have any significant contribution in the operation of the toilet? Even if they do have a stake in maintaining the overall cleanliness (or lack thereof) of the toilet, they should be paid a cleaner's pay, and not leech money out of poor customers like us.

8) And for goodness sake, if you have the audacity to collect money from us, keep the toilets decent. Meaning, clean floors, no tissues strewn all over the place, no clogged sinks, and replenish the supply of toilet paper regularly.

9) Some guys are either blind or too dumb. When you see a urinal clogged up with tissue and urine, please have the common sense to use another one! What are you trying to do, fill it up to the brim so that it'll overflow and splash its sickening contents unto the already dirty floor?

Ok, that's all I can think of for now. All the disgusting thoughts I'm trying to suppress are driving me nuts.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005 

Please allow me to be a wonky juvenile for 1 day.

I'm freaking over the top today. Why? I'm on a half day leave tomorrow.

And I desperately need to take tomorrow afternoon off because I need to catch a breather and seek some respite from all the crazy stuff happening over at where I'm stationed at and get away from all that hustle and bustle. Self-preservation, in other words.

Actually, the main reason I took the afternoon off tomorrow was because I had won a 100 dollar James Blunt CD Hamper from Perfect 10. I was listening to the lunchtime show with Jamie Yeo during my lunchbreak last monday, and she asked us to guess a song by giving us 2 lines of sample lyrics. She said some lyrics out and I immediately recalled the song to be "Beautiful Day" by U2. Immediately. I feel so darn proud of myself. And Jamie Yeo even said that day's song was hard to guess because of the lyrics she gave. But because I was such a HUGE U2 nut, I actually kinda memorised the lyrics of that song a long time ago. So, no problem at all. In the end, i was the first to reply her with the song title and ended up with a 100 dollar James Blunt CD Hamper.

Coolness eh? I'm not very sure whether he's the kind of singer I'd listen to. Personally I like old school rock (not too heavy) like... Jet, as well as artistes like John Mayer and Jason Mraz. Hope I'll like James Blunt's CD. Hopefully it's not commercialized pop. Hopefully it'll be one swell album.

Heck, why do I even care? It costs me just 1 dollar for the sms-es anyway. Any CD (hamper) this cheap is definitely good.

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