How I react to hate.
The past few days, in my moments of self reflection, me, the guy with too many thoughts, finally sussed out the best way to react to hatred. Not that I haven't already known the appropriate ways to deal with it, but as I was just deep in thought on the bus, I finally managed to wrap the whole concept of hatred around my mind so tightly.
Man are all innately selfish, we all know that. As much as knowing it makes us uncomfortable, that's what we are. Of course, being innately selfish doesn't mean we can't train ourselves or change ourselves to learn to love others, what with love being a choice after all. but we hate because often, people either annoy or irritate us, try to harm us, or has hurt things or people we love. And it's natural to be way pissed off with someone who actually brings hurt to you or the ones you love. but it sure is draining to keep harbouring hatred in our hearts. Vengeance is a principle so eagerly espoused by people all over the world, because well, perhaps hate and anger are the only driving forces keeping them sane and alive in this world. Some people rather feel anger and hate than feel nothing at all; then will they truly feel jaded knowing that life is just one black abyss of nothingness.
I generally try to be nice to people, but in my reckless days of youth in the past, I am pretty sure I have done some things to make people really dislike me. There sure are the fair share of detractors who scoff at me, mainly because of my faith, and there're the others who dislike me for just being me. (really primary school, I know) Being in the hell hole that is secondary school for 4 years, I've known the feeling of suspicion that people are mouthing slanderous remarks about you wherever you go.
In the past, I would torture myself incessantly with thoughts of inadequacy, like "oh, I'm not good enough to fit in to this group" or "I should not have been born Raymond because then these people won't dislike me" or some other crappy, depressive, even self-pitying thoughts of the same vein.
It didn't take me long to realize that hey, in life there're bound to be those that will never be pleased with you. Nothing you do will be enough for them. In fact, I would say that it is the norm that some people out there dislike you. I mean, if my life is in such a perpetual comfort zone, such that I have no enemies or detractors, it probably means the extent of my influence is realyl pathetic. Seriously, anyone wanting to do great things, pursue big dreams, must encounter these sort of people in other for their personal growth, I guess.
Naturally with such a belief, my life got transformed. People can still spill forth tons of crap about you, but we all have a choice how we want to react to it. We can choose not to be angry to certain things, even if in normal circumstances a normal man would be naturally angry about it. To love and forgive are choices we make too. (ok, that's a little cliched, since everything in life are essentially choices we make.)
Anyway, the revelation I received is that, if these people are actually disliking me, or even worse, hating me, then I MUST be doing something right. Because now I know that I DO have an impact on people. Maybe not a good impact, but for everyone that loves you, I am pretty sure there's one that hates you. Armed with that knowledge, I started to grow indifferent to people who disliked me or slandered about me (as most of us do in our high school days.)
Because seriously, I take being disliked as a compliment. As I said, people actually take the trouble to dislike you and talk utter bollocks about you, then you do have an incredible impact on people's life after all, even if it's not in an extremely positive sense.
Yes my friends, the opposite of love is not hatred. The opposite of love is really indifference and insouciance. Utter indifference and apathy towards you would be the ultimate form of insult towards the person, because it would mean that your existence is utterly devoid of influence of any kind, that you are in a way an invisible being, that the world would be no different without you.
So now, should I have any detractors or people who dislike me, I just sit back and look smug. Yes dudes, go ahead and hate me, because you're wasting your own time and energy, while I'm here, all fine and good and moving on with my life with zest and passion. In adult speak, I would say 'words can't bring me down'.
but part of me just want to stick my tongue out at these people and say "NANNEE NANNEE POO POO!"
Bwahahahaha.
so the next time you have doubts about your place in this world, think again. If there's actually people out there who do hate you with a vengeance, then you can reassure yourself that hey, one man makes a difference in this world. Most importantly, YOU make a difference in this world.
Inspired by Marilyn's post on the topic of hatred.
Man are all innately selfish, we all know that. As much as knowing it makes us uncomfortable, that's what we are. Of course, being innately selfish doesn't mean we can't train ourselves or change ourselves to learn to love others, what with love being a choice after all. but we hate because often, people either annoy or irritate us, try to harm us, or has hurt things or people we love. And it's natural to be way pissed off with someone who actually brings hurt to you or the ones you love. but it sure is draining to keep harbouring hatred in our hearts. Vengeance is a principle so eagerly espoused by people all over the world, because well, perhaps hate and anger are the only driving forces keeping them sane and alive in this world. Some people rather feel anger and hate than feel nothing at all; then will they truly feel jaded knowing that life is just one black abyss of nothingness.
I generally try to be nice to people, but in my reckless days of youth in the past, I am pretty sure I have done some things to make people really dislike me. There sure are the fair share of detractors who scoff at me, mainly because of my faith, and there're the others who dislike me for just being me. (really primary school, I know) Being in the hell hole that is secondary school for 4 years, I've known the feeling of suspicion that people are mouthing slanderous remarks about you wherever you go.
In the past, I would torture myself incessantly with thoughts of inadequacy, like "oh, I'm not good enough to fit in to this group" or "I should not have been born Raymond because then these people won't dislike me" or some other crappy, depressive, even self-pitying thoughts of the same vein.
It didn't take me long to realize that hey, in life there're bound to be those that will never be pleased with you. Nothing you do will be enough for them. In fact, I would say that it is the norm that some people out there dislike you. I mean, if my life is in such a perpetual comfort zone, such that I have no enemies or detractors, it probably means the extent of my influence is realyl pathetic. Seriously, anyone wanting to do great things, pursue big dreams, must encounter these sort of people in other for their personal growth, I guess.
Naturally with such a belief, my life got transformed. People can still spill forth tons of crap about you, but we all have a choice how we want to react to it. We can choose not to be angry to certain things, even if in normal circumstances a normal man would be naturally angry about it. To love and forgive are choices we make too. (ok, that's a little cliched, since everything in life are essentially choices we make.)
Anyway, the revelation I received is that, if these people are actually disliking me, or even worse, hating me, then I MUST be doing something right. Because now I know that I DO have an impact on people. Maybe not a good impact, but for everyone that loves you, I am pretty sure there's one that hates you. Armed with that knowledge, I started to grow indifferent to people who disliked me or slandered about me (as most of us do in our high school days.)
Because seriously, I take being disliked as a compliment. As I said, people actually take the trouble to dislike you and talk utter bollocks about you, then you do have an incredible impact on people's life after all, even if it's not in an extremely positive sense.
Yes my friends, the opposite of love is not hatred. The opposite of love is really indifference and insouciance. Utter indifference and apathy towards you would be the ultimate form of insult towards the person, because it would mean that your existence is utterly devoid of influence of any kind, that you are in a way an invisible being, that the world would be no different without you.
So now, should I have any detractors or people who dislike me, I just sit back and look smug. Yes dudes, go ahead and hate me, because you're wasting your own time and energy, while I'm here, all fine and good and moving on with my life with zest and passion. In adult speak, I would say 'words can't bring me down'.
but part of me just want to stick my tongue out at these people and say "NANNEE NANNEE POO POO!"
Bwahahahaha.
so the next time you have doubts about your place in this world, think again. If there's actually people out there who do hate you with a vengeance, then you can reassure yourself that hey, one man makes a difference in this world. Most importantly, YOU make a difference in this world.
Inspired by Marilyn's post on the topic of hatred.
