The Exclamation Mark Blog!

Ok. What have a missed out in the past few weeks being isolated and alienated from society while stuck away in camp? I rather laughable controversy and debacle the blogosphere, apparently. You know what? Follow in Bunny's very smart footsteps, because this whole thing is just a big joke. Actually I didn't even want to comment about it, but today when I got to surf the net, I was inundated by a big pile of blogs which were all commenting on the whole debacle thing - and that made me bored to bits.

I am so glad those bloggers I read are so much more interesting than all the crap controversies on the blogosphere put together. :D

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Life in camp is starting to be a bore. it's just the 3rd week and I'm already way pissed.

Irresponsible people.

Lazy people.

People who don't give a damn.

People who don't listen.

people who don't have any freaking integrity and keep sabo-ing the platoon.

People who think the Course IC (that's me) is their freaking nanny and will do everything for them.

Morons.

It's not difficult to maintain calm with them, because blowing up in an angsty tirade against them will just serve to make things worse. But being miserable in such a screwed up place, ranting on my blog is the only behaviour (undesirable as it is) I can safely engage in order to maintain self preservation.

The ironic thing is, I haven't quarrelled with anyone yet, no one hates me, maybe some dislike me. I don't know and I don't care. The sad thing is that, being sort of like the leader makes you automatically alienated from the rest of the platoon to some extent. AT some point of time, someone has to draw the line - or they will get too far- and that person will always have to be you. I can't always play the good guy all the time as much as I want the guys to be happy. People will say, "oh its easy for you to order them, you're a sergeant balblablabla".

Bollocks. It is never easy. It is always difficult. But its my duty and responsibility and I have to do it. Which I think I'm not doing and fulfilling enough. I'm still a little too nice. And I have to do something about it.

I'm still doing fine here in the course, but I'm growing frustrated. Thankfully, I know my Helper is by my side. And if I do - which i know i won't - hit rock bottom, then He is the rock which I will fall on. my life in safe hands.

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Responsibility - whether in the army or not - is never pleasant, but its something we all grow up to accept and handle. Some take it up later in their life compared to others, but to shun responsibility is the most silly thing in life. How are you ever going to do great things in life without responsibility and self discipline?

When I see some people in camp, I'm just disgusted by how they lack responsibility for even their own selves. It's not like they're taking up responsibility for the platoon or anyone else. Just. their. own. miserables. selves. Is it honestly that hard? - I find myself asking that over and over again.

Actually, I do understand their situation, because when your life has no direction or vision or goals, responsibility is nothing more than a thorn in the flesh. Hindering and impeding you from gratifying yourself, satisfying your craving for fun and pleasure. Ultimately, when I was going through depression, I found myself in the shoes of these exact same people who are irritating me.

And as much as I am irritated by these people, I find myself empathising with them - oxymoronic as that may seem. I guess that is a good thing all together; it is easier to understand them and treat them with love and respect. And that is the best thing to have come out of the black wave that is depression that I went through before.

Really, God works in mysterious ways.