The Exclamation Mark Blog!

Attention all people! I'm back here blogging again!

Been too busy enjoying my leave as I am gearing up to become an ORD-inary person again. =D Guys who understand the feeling, rejoice with me!

And you may wonder, what exactly I have been doing so much that have kept me busy from blogging. Let's run down the list: Dvds, church, elderly ministry, meeting up with friends, and not forgetting, DOTA!

If you're into computer gaming and that doesn't ring a bell to you, you probably have been living with your face buried in the ground for the past few years. DotA ( Defence of the Ancients) is a custom game map created by players for the computer game Warcraft 3. Before you go ahead and try it out, a word of caution: it is highly addictive. (And no, I'm 'addicted' but NOT addicted, if you get what i mean.)

I've been thinking a lot- what is at the core of its appeal? Sure, it's helluva fun, it's pure fantasy escapist thrill, and it transports you into a magical new world where your life is not so mundane. But then again, what about other things? Music serves out the same purpose. The Television does too.

But beyond that, I believe its allure lies in the glory of victory and the satisfaction of excellence. When your character is the strongest and your team wins, you'll probably be on cloud 9. Really, sometimes when I wonder why so many thousands and thousands of people are literally seduced and intoxicated by the taste of that faux success, it leads me to that same conclusion: people want to win. Doesn't matter if its in 4D, in a soccer match, in their studies, or perhaps in the workplaces ; people want to win, and the fact remains that losing sucks.

Yes, with the whole new world of computer games opened up to the masses, a world of fantasy is accessible and people can temporarily transport themselves out of their mundane lives where they are often burdened by the drudgery of everyday work. But more than that, computer games (esp games like DotA) have opened up an outlet where everyday losers CAN win.

Lately as I've listened to my friends' advice (thanks Alvin and Dale) , I've begun to reflect and evaluate to what extent I am 'hooked' onto the game. At a point I admit I've perhaps crossed the line a little (not surprising since i like living on the edge a little sometimes) and I realized it was my craving to win. Sometime ago, I realized i was playing DotA to WIN, and not to have fun. I was ruthlessly aggressive to some of my teammates (who were quite often friends) issuing out orders in order to get my way done - though perhaps it was the same for all of us- and ometimes I believe it does get to others and irk each other.

And hence from then, I've been playing less competitive games with the aim of simply having fun and enjoying myself. It actually does a lot more to foster a good spirit and 'sportingness'. I think I've become a lot more 'sporting' as a result. (I'm so thick-skinned. =D)

Being competitive has always been in my genes. My dad was always an achiever, doing well in most of the things he came across and eventually rising up to a general manager. There was a climate of competitiveness among my family - everyone was fighting to put their children into the best schools and then parade their 'trophy children' to the entire world. I've always felt pressure to perform, and that desire to excel has been so entrenched in my behavioural patterns, ingrained into my mindsets, that it is something so natural now. I failed to realize that in secondary school because my lack of vision perhaps hindered my desire for excellence. In JC, it was my depression that robbed me of that go-getting attitude that ambitious people have.

I realize that truth now and I realize something even more important : Wanting to win is good. Wanting to win at the cost of things that are more important - relationships, health, etc - isn't. You just have to define that line and make sure not to cross it.

And please, be a winner in real life. Manage your time well, excel in your workplace, do well in your studies, get to the universitiy if need be, manage relationships well ; being a 'winner' really encompasses many aspects. Just don't confine yourself to being a winner in the virtual world because that is utterly foolish and perhaps even delusional.

And I don't know how relevant this is to you guys, but perhaps I'm writing for myself. Perhaps I need to read this for myself because at parts I really am writing for myself. =D

OH, and you guys GOT to go buy the Serenity DVD. It's an amazing film.