The Exclamation Mark Blog!

Anna, anna, I'll miss you like CA-RAY-ZEE. I'll drop you an email sometime soon, do reply to it to keep in contact!

I'll be keeping my eyes wide open to look out for the return of the Wonky Tong.

First Eddy Neo, now Anna Neo.

Now Hisreason, in the future, Herreason?

Warning: Utter incoherence coming up.

I was at the MRT station today, taking the MRT to wherever I was headed. I actually feel that MRT Rides in the morning are rather gloomy, you see all the clearly exhausted corporate worker types dozing away, or the typical uniform clad student doing some last minute mugging for his exams. I rather like bus rides, however, somehow they seem to refresh me a lot more.

Anyway the whole ride was pretty much normal, and I was voraciously devouring my new copy of Time magazine. I love reading in the morning, provided I'm not stone-tired from having too little sleep the previous night.

So anyway I got out of the MRT and was waiting to switch trains. I was walking around while waiting for the train and was walking through this small space between a pillar and a big rectangular sitting block. Just then as I was walking through that small space, this woman just came out of nowhere and decided to walk through the same tiny space and headed down the escalator.

Problem was, that tiny space was not big enough for 2 people to walk through at the same time, though it may be possible if both of you squeeze. This ,Queen Bitch from Hell(QBTH) did not even bother making a detour around the pillar or bother saying excuse me or let alone squeezing a little so that both of us could get through at the same time(she was walking in my opposite direction, so in other words she was walking towards me.) So she conveniently knocked into me without saying sorry and continued walking hurriedly off to the escalator to get down. She even made a "tsk" sound at me, sounding irritated that i was obstructing her way, when in actual fact I should be the one screaming my heads off at her.

That level of annoyance was so intolerable to me, I almost spun around and grabbed her by the arm and bitch slapped her over her stupid cum-stained face. Seriously! EVERYONE in the morning is in a rush, so the shoving is understandable if you are in a CROWD. If it's just another person obstructing your way, at least bother to make a detour because the MRT station is damn frigging big.

Seriously, can't people exercise some consideration at public places? MRT stations are places where horrible acts of inconsideration and selfishness are commonsight. I understand the gloomy atmosphere in the morning-- the drudgery of everyday work and the prospect of you going through the motions of another typical working day doesn't quite exactly cause endorphins to rush through your body to perk you up. It's a dull, sian feeling, I get that. But is that an excuse for such a blatant act of inconsideration and selfishness? Hell, no one even pushed me back in my college days and this Queen Bitch from Hell actually pushed me? Without saying sorry?

Of course when I said I was about to hit her, I was kidding. I don't hit girls. Not even guys for that matter. But I was sure as hell pissed with her and wanted to curse. Then i turned around to get a closer look at her and realized there was no need to curse. The moment I looked at her, I was filled with an immediate sense of vindication. Why?

Because first she had pudgy legs (not that I have anything against that). Secondly, she had a disastrous sartorial sense. She was wearing this gawdawful shirt on, and a very unmatching long dress to boot. To top it off, she was wearing , get this, SNEAKERS to complete her extreme makeover of the Damned. Who EVER wears sneakers to go along with a long dress? All right female readers, correct me if I'm wrong here, since I'm not the fashion expert. But to me, wearing sneakers along with a long dress just looks weird and screams "GEEK!" out loud. Hey, maybe having fashion faux pas is the fad nowadays! She might be another aspiring wannabe waiting to join the ranks of Bjork, Michael Jackson, and Britney Spears. Oh, and 3rdly, she doesn't look like she has a boyfriend, despite her not-so-youthful looking face. Not surprising though. If you're grumpy and rude and selfish and rough, would any guy want you? Haha!

Revenge is so sweet.

Thanks to all of you who have shown me your support in my minor bout of depression the past weeks. I'm more or less outta it now, thank you very much.

Updated: The Double-Minded Man.

My sister sms-ed me the other day whether I would want the DVDs to any TV series like Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel, because she was overseas and could get the fake copies for a really cheap price, like 1+ singapore dollar for a DVD. Now, is that a bargain or what?

Naturally for a guy who obsesses over those two shows, spent tons of money renting 2 seasons of the respective shows each, and spent 140 dollars buying the DVD of thecomplete season 3 of Angel, I was pleasantly surprised. My sis also asked me whether I would like other series like Law and Order, CSI, etc.

I think at that moment in time I almost had a mental orgasm. I was higher than a junkie on E, I tell ya.

And so my sis came back with her loot: season 1 and 2 of Nip/Tuck, season 6 of Buffy(which I watched on TV and loved), season 1 of Desperate Housewives and CSI, Season 1 of The Monk, and lastly season 1 of Queer as Folk.

Now, when my sister actually asked me whether I wanted the TV Series Queer as Folk, my answer was a resounding YES!. At that point in time I didn't really know what that show was all about, though I had an inkling as to the inclination of the show, which could be surmised from the connotations/nuances of the word "queer".

Yesterday, I just got about to watching it. I could clearly remember the feelings and thoughts I had throughout the show. It went something from uneasiness to shock to disgust to awe and back to disgust. Basically for the rest of the 2 hour pilot episode, my primary emotions were oscillating between heartfelt sympathy and absolute disgust. After 5 minutes, I was already contemplating shutting off my DVD player. After 10 minutes, I was thinking whether or not to watch the rest of the episodes, even though it'd be a waste not to since my sister bought it.

So here's what that show's all about: Gays. And by that I mean homosexual men and lesbian women. It's basically all very whacked up. This affable and likeable guy, who turns out to be gay, is introduced to us as the protaganist. He's not obviously gay, and he remained in the closet while at work. He has 2 best friends, also gay ( duh) and he has this boyfriend/significant other in his life.

Here's where it gets shitty. The protaganist, Michael, and his boyfriend, Brian, wants to be more important in each other's life, but Brian indulges in flagrant infidelity and has many quickies and flings. And Michael is annoyed, but not consumed with rage. I mean seriously, if you significant other is screwing someone else(or many others for that matter), all you can muster up is just annoyance towards the other person? What about rage and contempt for your Significant other? Weird.

I think I just don't understand and empathise with gays at all. Really, their lifestyle is really confusing and... weird. I don't mean to be all judgmental here, but seriously, I find it a the whole business of kissing someone your own gender VERY icky. And I can't imagine them breaking the hearts of their parents should their parents find out their true sexual orientation. And I should say many ( but of course not all) homosexuals lead a very, very licentious, hedonistic lifestyle (as gleaned from the portrayals of homosexuals on television, though those could be crap stereotypes).

Not to say they should be condemned as a whole. I mean I sympathize with them on the fact that they couldn't help being born with some genetic defect. But I still feel gays tend to blame nature/fate too much when it comes to their tragic lives (or so they always claim it to be). I mean, I believe homosexuality is more a nurture than a nature thing. Genes/DNA/hormonal imbalances or whatever biological reasons may partially be responsible for the makings of a homosexual, but I believe what's a bigger factor is the influences around you. Whether you had a strong male influence in your life since young (esp for the guys), whether you had ever been sexually abused before, and the company you mix with. I believe genes and DNA account for more of your personality, not your sexual inclination. But maybe that's just me being a prude.

Either way, I'll get back to my thoughts on the show. In one very disturbing guy-guy soft-core sex scene, this guy was on top of the other guy, and you could see their butts in their naked glory. Goodness during that scene I almost gagged. But guess what, one of the guys acting in that scene is perfectly straight! Good ol' heterosexual guy! (of course that means the other actor is a homosexual, duh) And one thing I feel about that straight guy is that he must be one helluva daring experimentor. Being a straight guy AND doing a stimulated guy-guy sex scene on television takes a lot of damn guts, because you could be unfairly labelled a gay for the rest of your life, which most straight guys would perceive as a huge insult. But this guy did. And to me, that is an actor in its finest, someone brave, someone daring, someone willing to experiment and immerse himself into the character he's playing.

I was reading an interview just now with the actor who plays the main protaganist ,who doesn't get any actual simulated sex scene but only guy-guy kissing scenes, and he's straight as can be. In fact, he compared kissing a guy to kissing a dog, though he got flak for that comment. But no matter how great an actor you are, I believe when it comes to kissing someone your own gender, there'll definitely be a strong "ICK" factor there, no matter how professional you are. I give these guys props, for being straight guys acting in a show filled with gays, to give awareness to the world about an alternative culture and lifestyle, to help bring more understanding and empathy towards people who are different from us, and to eradicate xenophobia once and for all.

I'm disagree with homosexuality; but that is no reason to hate homosexuals. By showing a little bit of tolerance and love towards them, perhaps we can seek to reconcile our differences in a far more effective way.

And I've decided to carry on watching the rest of the series. (away from the prying eyes of my parents, of course)

P.S. I think my blog is sufferring from an estrogen overload. The comments for my last posts came purely from females! Anna, Lyn, lynne, Almonds, Laughingcow, I love you all, but can I please add that I want more male comments on my blog PLEASE! B.o.Y, Julian, Beng, are you guys listening?!!

Dang it, I knew I should have stuck to a black background for my blog.

P.P.S: I'll probably be doing a continuation to this post sometime soon.

If you're an avid blog reader, it'll be normal for you to have stumbled upon the ubiquitous 'meme' word. If you're one of the more normal ones out there, you'd have actually been perplexed, and probably took some time out to ponder upon the meaning (or lack thereof) of that word. It's such a phenomenally inane word that I'm close to ripping my hair off every single time I stumble upon people using it.

Can someone please tell me the BLOODY meaning of that word? Because till now I can only have a vague idea of what it actually means. And not to mention try to fathom why on the blue moon would people actually use such a mammothly act-cutish word in their blog. Maybe it's just me being over-sensitive to tard-ishness. I mean I'm perfectly fine with terms coined by the blogging community. Blogosphere, blogicide, Browned, Tomorrowed, Xiaxue-ed, whatever... but this word's so absurdly lame it brings out goosebumps whenever I come across it.

****

Does anybody think that Harry Potter is overrated? Because I sure do. I mean I sure loved the movie because it was pure visual delight, with the grand sets and impeccably done special effects. But the book's way too boring for me. It does nothing for me at all. Perhaps I'm just cynical of the popularity of a book (largely) catered for young readers, perhaps the style doesn't suit me. Either way, I couldn't even get pass 20 pages of the first book. Imagine my shock when I heard the huge queue that formed outside Borders on the day of the Harry Potter book launch. Singaporeans, so typical and predictable. Queueing is perpetually their favourite activity.

****

Fame comes with a price. Cliched but bloody true. Look at Xiaxue. Her blog account just got hacked into and now she has to restart her whole blog over again. I say hate makes the world go round, not money or love. Is she really that annoying till the extent that she could actually provoke such an malicious attack on her? I say, no. I don't particularly like her, but this kind of attack on her certainly seems too harsh.

Do I still want to be famous? Hell yeah.

Yes, you're at the right blog, in case the bright white background shocked you. I know I'm changing blogskins even faster than the rate at which J.Lo changes husbands, but I'm fickle-minded for one, and also came to a sudden realization that a black background did not suit me at all. It's time to move on to a white background then. I'm sure many of you wouldn't mind: it's far less straining on the eyes.

I guess it's a case of how I feel even my blog layout reflects my personality ( or at least online persona, to be more accurate). At one point of time I believed a black background would be more appropriate in conveying a "I-don't-give-a-damn-about-anything-in-the-world" vibe but now I feel I'm shifting away from that kind of persona. Angst and cynicism is no longer the predominant aspects of my posts anymore, are they?

Ah, the simplicity of white; really lets the words speak for themselves. No mask to hide under, no skin to crawl beneath.

****

I guess I'm beginning to take blogging more seriously now. I've always loved reading, and writing even more so. Writing on such a pervasive medium like the internet is great, simply because it's a great avenue to garner a sizeable readership quickly. You know more and more people are taking blogging seriously when over 400 people turned up for the Blog Con, organised by the Tomorrow editors.

The general consensus among bloggers was that it was a hoot, though certain journalists called it a big yawn. I do not really want to go in depth in discussing about it here, since almost every other blogger in Singapore is already doing that. But I'll just leave you with a quote by MercerMachine, who says in response to the journalists' opinion:

In any case, I wasn’t aware that the convention was organized for the express purpose of amusing SPH reporters. I must have missed that memo.

Well said, dude!

****

for those absolute idiots on trackbacks and technorati and all that weird blogging mumbo jumbo like me (thanks Marilyn for helping me with all that crap), you can check out Tym's brief and concise tutorial on trackbacks and technorati.

If it isn't about the whole NKF hoo-haa (which I honestly don't give a damn about because I barely donate to NKF anyway), it's either about the London bombings or TomKat (what the Tom Cruise-Katie Holmes relationship is called). If it isn't about Tomkat, it's about about how well War of the Worlds did. If it isn't about any of the above, it's about how Angelina Jolie is some shameless home wrecker, causing the divorce between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Or perhaps it's about her adopting another child...


The only news that enthuses me at all is the fact that the higher powers have decided to double the resources allocated to fighting poverty. All thanks to the effort of the Live 8 concert! Everyone, do your part to make poverty history please!

Ok, what's the death of a blog called if it's not a so-called 'suicide'? Blog + Murder= Blogi-der. Not exactly ear-pleasing, but I had to interrupt my long hiatus from blogging because I just found out something shocking.


Adri's blog(or rather just a website of writings, since she didn't want her site called a blog anymore) just got shut down. Probably because she couldn't afford to pay for the hosting services anymore.


I'm in a state of perpetual gloom now.


But at least I know she'll be back soon.

We all have goals, dreams, needs and desires.


Wherever we are now, no matter how far we are from these things, we have to start somewhere. We need a starting point. Perhaps we've been rotting away for the most part of our lives, but we can always have a new beginning -- it's a matter of will.


At least, I have.


My new blog, The Double Minded Man has been created. I'll still be posting here occasionally, but it shall not be my primary focus anymore.


Thanks for being faithful readers for so long, and do continue to support Mr Moron.

I just had a chat with a good friend of mine over MSN. At some point of our conversation, I realized he had told me everything I knew about my blog and my blog persona, and yet those things were precisely the things I didn't want to hear, though I knew it was true.


I started out this blog with lofty ambitions and noble goals; me and my pathetic ideals of wanting to influence people or impact people and blablablablabla. Truth is, that's easier said than done.


I wanted to write because I thought it was Cathartic; by articulating my innermost thoughts and penning down my frustrations, I could be liberated from those pesky emotional shackles. But along the way, I became yet another readers-whore and decided to write for others instead of showing genuine fragments of my self. Obviously, writing for others isn't exactly a very liberating experience, though the thrill of making a connection still provides an adrenaline rush.


I think there comes a time when change is good. I can't go on this whole blogging business without taking a breather. No, I'm not giving up on this blog, I'm just taking a break-- for self preservation, that is. I need to reflect; I need to find myself again. I'll probably be starting another blog, one where I can show snippets of genuine emotion and vulnerability, where I can escape the judgmental eyes of most. One that can also serves as a journal of a spiritual walk, like Marilyn's blog .


I won't be giving up this blog just yet, but I'll be taking a break. In the mean time, I'll pass the reins of the blog over to Mr Moron and let him entertain you.


I've got many skeletons in my closet, some waiting to come out; but in another place, most definitely.

I'm sure many of you who even bother reading the Straits Times, especially the Life! section would be well aware by now about the School of Rock competition, whereby the winning band would win a $5000 cash prize and a management contract. The whole hoo-haa about the competition on the newspaper is getting to me because the column inches dedicated to it can easily match up to that of the TomKat affair.


I was reading an article by this blogger Ichoisarius, an SPH scholar, and I believe he was obligated to attend the event. He was obviously horrified by what he saw (and heard) and I quote him:

As for the SOR - good god. I was late for that, and thank whatever gods exist. I only sat through ten of the fifteen rock bands scheduled for the morning, but that was more than enough.

Some observations:

* Singaporean rock bands don't sing. They scream. Badly. Like Constantine Maroulis when he goes all skkkkkkreeeaaaaggghhhh. And sometimes they growl. Also badly.

* When they sing, you understand why they scream instead.

* They think that the louder their electric guitars / acoustic guitars / electric pianos, the better. Which is just wrong, really, because then it's just a deafening babble of noise, and because then the vocalist can only be of relevance when he/she shouts the lyrics. Then it's just bad.

* Saying that your trademark palm-to-audience gesture during a rock song is the result of a Spice Girls song ("Stop right there, thank you very much...") creates cognitive dissonance, laughter, and instant evaporation of all rock-credibility all at the same time.

* Fifteen minutes tuning an instrumental set-up is a really looooooooonnnnnnnngggggg time to take.

Hilarious eh?! Anyway allow me to elaborate on his post a little.


Rockers think it is cool to be rebellious. Ok, most rockers at least. And what is their definition of being rebellious? Wearing chains, spikes, dying their hair some awful colour and generally just not studying at all. I don't think those things necessarily epitomise the concept of being rebellious. Being rebellious for the right things is all fine and dandy, but when it comes to something as ludicrous as not studying, that gives me jitters. No wonder there are so many dumb people in Singapore nowadays.


Generally I don't think you have to be really rebellious to be a rocker, at least not according to the conventional stereotype of what it means to be rebellious. But anyway, they insist that rockers are rebellious, when every single one of them is dressed exactly the same way, made up exactly the same way, and with the exact same attitude to boot. Funny.

• When you're mixing with some of these self-professed rockers, you don't ever look at their face. Your eyes will always be fixated by their horrible t-shirts, piercings or tattoos. Which is good in a way, because generally these rockers put on some much hideous make up (to achieve a Goth look) that it simply looks repulsive and disgusting.

• Being in the same room as almost 50 other people dressed in black can be really depressing.

• No matter how many times the rockers scream "how ya doing people" or "Com'on People", you can't help but feel a lack of atmosphere. Sometime you snigger at their rather futile efforts to, in rocker's speak, "bring down the house". Yes, enthusiasm does not make up for a lack of talent. Sadly.

A management contract is not the same as a recording contract. THANK GOD.

****(I've finally decided to stop apologizing for taking so long update my blog. I mean, this is my blog, I'll update it when I see fit.****



Sometimes, I wonder, what are the lines that separate the blogging world/virtual reality to our own world. What defines the real world from the blogging world?


Naturally, one would be quick to draw up the conclusion that the differences are rife. Th persona you portray on your blog can be representative of your real personality, but it can also be in diametrical opposition to your real character. After all, no one is able to observe your actual demeanor, all they see are words on your blog; from there, they gain a peek into who you are, and the rest is inferrence. In other words, if you choose to portray someone totally different from who you are, not many people will be able to discern the fact you're putting on a mask in the virtual world.


Traditionally, actions in the online world did not carry such weight to it as it does in the real world. The repercussions to irresponsible actions on the net were not as harsh as those in the actual world, or in worst case scenarios, there would not be any repercussions at all.


However the more I think about it now, I begin to question the differences between the real world and virtual one. I mean, to think that one would know a person's real personality and character even through one-to-one interaction has to be an erroneous perception. The fallacy stems from the fact that people believe they would be able to discern a person's emotions from his words/facial expressions etc, but then again, a person can easily put on a mask even with his friends. Doesn't that make it similar to the situation when one is online? Of course, portraying a different persona from your real character online is to a certain extent acceptable, since no one actually knows you, and it wouldn't be in any way cheating anybody. Besides, many write to entertain and educate, so giving people misleading perceptions into their personality is not necessarily a bad thing.


As for consequences of misdemeanors online, look at it: SarongPartyGirl posed up a nude photo of herself with her face blurred and the whole media ruckus commenced. Isn't that a really harsh consequence? And Xiaxue got stick a little too bad. Seriously she should have been more tactful with words regarding the whole SPG issue, but I think a little slip of the tongue doesn't warrant her getting a whole truckload of hate mails right?


I hate this, but I thought blogging/reading blogs/engaging in the blogging community is supposed to be a cathartic activity? Where we achieve a sense of relief, where the comments of other sympathizers serve to vindicate you? Idealist if you call me, but I always thought the blogging community was supposed to be nearing a utopian society, you know, where most of us got along together. I mean, differences in opinions are naturally unavoidable, but at least differences could be resolved through empathy, and voices of dissension would not arise.


However of late, I've been seeing a lot of ugliness in bloggers. Aside from the whole SPG tussle involving SPG and XX, I've been seeing arrogance and mockery in the blogosphere. All of this, coming from reputable bloggers.


A couple of weeks ago, a certain Tomorrow editor ( one of the lower profile ones) dropped by Nicholas Liu's blog, of which I visit a lot, and slammed him with an insult, saying he had an "elitist narrow-minded perspective of the world". (If you guys really want to know which tomorrow editor it is, check out the comments of Nicholas Liu's May 31 post). Following which, that Tomorrow editor continued to create a big commotion on Nicholas' blog by posting lots of inane comments. And then some time ago, another Tomorrow editor, of whose blog I visit a lot too, went on to great detail about how we all want to be Tomorrow-ed, though I construed that whole post as a self-aggrandizing speech, like "hey, I'm a Tomorrow editor, and Tomorrow rocks, so move along".


Firstly, not everyone wants to be Tomorrow-ed. I've said a million and one times that I always hope that I'll get a higher readership, but I do not want to sell my soul to secularize my blog and make it commercially viable or go all the way out to appeal to readers. I know my blog is rather offbeat, and at times self-indulgent, but hey, as I've said, this is my blog after all (ok, so it's shared, but who cares), I'll do as I see fit. Seriously, being Tomorrow-ed brings with it great benefits; firstly, you feel your effort's been appreciated, secondly, there is increased awareness to your blog. However, with all the pressure mounted on our shoulders, will we crumble and turn out blog into a site filled with vacuous trash? I mean, I visit Tomorrow all the time, and I've seen all those one hit wonders that come out of it. They get Tomorrow for once, and then they disappear back into the shadows of obscurity. What's the big deal of being Tomorrow-ed anyway? Seriously, I think there is a lot of interesting content/articles on that site, but the idea of being Tomorrow-ed is a little overrated.


But that is another story all together. What I want to say is, why is arrogance so prevalent even in the blogosphere? And I thought perhaps the virtual world was somewhere that we could do away with this whole shit about a sense of superiority. About thinking that YOUR OPINIONS are ALWAYS right. Sure, I like to be patronised a little on my blog, I hope most people agree with me, but sometimes I really welcome differing opinions you know, so that we get a whole range of perspectives on a matter. Bah.


Anyway Finicky Feline wrote a great article here. Go read it.