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Friday, October 29, 2004 

RANTINGS RANTINGS AND MORE RANTINGS

Today i will officially quit writing a nice inspirational blog piece. I am super super pissed now and I am on my ranting spree.

All right first tings first, I don't know what the hell got to my stupid com, but I have this inkling that my brother over the weekend had to feed his insatiable appetite for *ahem ahem* and had to visit some *ahem ahem* sites and downloaded some *ahem ahem* stuff. Now, I'm not pretending to be innocent here coz I've actually seen some b4 last time, not that i'm proud of it but instead I feel crappy abt it but that's another story. The fact is that I just wished he'd stop using it on my room com coz i'm using it everyday! If he wanted he could have just used my dad's com which is filled with *ahem ahem* stuff coz my Dad is also a chee ko pek. Whahaha although of coz I love my dad to the core. I just can't stand the fact that he is 61 and still into viewing those stuff... gosh I can't even think about it. It's disgusting. It's so unimaginable it ranks right up there with your parents making out. Anyway my bro must have downloaded some stuff or visited some site and on monday when i used the computer, all of a sudden those stupid casino and porn ads and pop ups came up!!!! Grrr... The person who came up with ad ware and spy ware deserve to be shot, crucified, stoned, spat on and tortured to a v v v tragic death. And if you are asking how could I be so cruel, well, this is my blog and I say what I want to say! GRRR stupid adware and spyware is totally frustrating! It's as frustrating as Arsene Wenger's pathetic sore-loser complains about how unfair the Man U win was. Haha ok but that's a whole other story altogether. So pissed off with my com!

I am so stressed with my life right now. In camp, the people are rather nice, I am under study of a very very nice guy, really cool guy. But aiya, it just really sucks. Monday I was really down with flu and wanted to report sick outside and the Staff sergeants made a big hoo haa out of it. And on Monday again I sinned super big time. Haiz... why everytime I say sorry to God over and over and when I think I'm finally going somewhere and won't have to say sorry again then that's when I make a mistake again? :X I'm so sick of saying sorry. I'm so sick of my weakness and lack of willpower and my utter lack of discipline as well as lack of self control. But sometimes when I think I'm spinning out of control.... the Holy Spirit will reassure me that everything's ok and that I'm forgiven and that I've just got to be strong in God and not repeat the same offence. But sometimes I just can't stop condemning myself. Anyway I just don't know. Sometimes when I'm doing my normal work stuff in my camp, I wish I'd be less blur! Make so many cock mistakes...haha ... although now I've learnt to take myself less seriously and just laugh off my mistakes... my friends in camp also just laugh at them sometimes... they're really nice to me... although they also get a little irked at my blurness sometimes... haha but it's ok! But really why I'm stressed with the people is the fact that I can't conform to their expectations and what they want me to be because I'm a Christian and I'm different... but they don't get it... there's sosososososo much pressure. I think I'm going to put up a few different posts today... coz if not this post is going to be too long. haha

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