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Saturday, October 09, 2004 

You Are Worthy

Any crown I've ever worn, I lay it down.
Any praise I've ever gained, I give it all to You.
For there's nothing in this world that can compare, for You alone are worthy, You alone are worthy
You are near to all who call upon Your Name.
Ever giving, ever loving, You remain the same.
For You open up Your hand and satisfy, I give You all the glory, give You all the glory

You are worthy O Lord, of all honour, You are worthy to receive all praise.
In Your presence I live, and with all I have to give,
I will worship You, honour You, glorify, Your holy name.

I was blessed with Hillsong's latest cd, For all You've done, by my aunt last Sunday, and this song was my favourite. Everytime, i played it, I really felt God's presence so tangibly in my room! It really magnified my perception of God everytime I sang it... and I always felt like God was so close to me when I sang along to the song...

Anyway today I wanted to post on Singapore Idol, but I've decided to push it back a little to tomorrow. Today, It's one day after my birthday! Haha or rather just about 2 hours over my birthday, but anyway, I'm 19 now! 2 more years to adulthood... scary thought. Haha. But I just felt like it was a really bad day for me... because I did something really bad which really upset God, sigh, and... I feel terrible about it. I've made the choice to stop before, and it was a really strong choice, but here and there I keep falling. And the worst thing is that I just feel God has been great to me lately, even though I'm going through some tough circumstances. And today, because of that, I feel terrible. Absolutely awful. Sometimes I look at certain Christian friends of mine, mostly in the church, some in my cell group, I just feel crappy. I see their lifestyles, I feel so inspired by them to do greater stuff and be more fervent for God... and for some, when i see the lifestyles they lead, I always feel convicted to change certain things about me. I have this 2 cell group members called Jingfa and Alvin... everytime I see them, I just feel so convicted to change things about me... they don't even need to say anything, but when I'm near them I always feel like I've to re-assess my entire life. Jingfa, he's studying in poly now, he's the nicest guy I've ever seen. He serves as an usher in church, and he goes for another service so that he can enjoy the Word Pastor shares with us that week, and he comes for cell group weekly without fail, but more than that is the fact he never grows tired of serving God and other people. I've never seen him take a break from his ushering before, and during cell group, he always makes it a point to go around talking to people, making people feel comfortable. And when u talk to him, there's an instant comfort zone. He's a very gentle and very nice guy and even the new friends I bring to the cell group took an instant liking to him. I doubt he's reading this, but Jingfa if u're reading this, you're a great, great guy, and continue doing great stuff for God!

Alvin, a helper in my cell group, is my very good friend's neighbour. What a small world! And now that she's in church, it's even better. Alvin is a guy who can cliques with anyone. It doesn't matter who you are, he just instantly can connect with people and he can make anyone feel at ease. It's due to his natural charisma and the amount of the presence of God he brings with him. He is always so availing to help out my wonderful cell group leader Sharon, and he always makes it a point to call people up to ask them how they are... it's like a short conversation with him is also already very, very therapeutic. Even my super cynical friend, Jia Jin, was full of praise for Alvin the first time they met. Sometimes Alvin rather suffer than see other people suffer.

I think these people are inspirations in my life. Somehow God has placed these wonderful people in my life to really impact me in some way. I mourn the departure of Esther, a great girl in my cg, as she's transferring to an adult cell. Esther, all the best to you and I really do hope I'll continue to see you in times to come!

So anyway, after writing all these stuff down, I suddenly feel strengthened. I may have done something terrible today, but I know God will forgive me, because I'm genuinely repentant. Hellelujah! Whatever circumstances I'm facing, I know I'll make it through the rain, whatever stuff I'm struggling with, I know I will beat it, whatever obstacles in my way, I know I can overcome them! Because we're more than conquerors through Him who loves us and I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world. God's grace is made perfect in my weaknesses! Now, I'm going to go before God and repent... and start to desire his presence more. You are my source Lord, and I need your presence to sustain me and refresh me! I'm gng to lay aside all distractions and seek the Lord and humble myself before Him.

.... Any crown I've ever worn, I lay it down.... Any praise I've ever gained, I give it all to You.. For there's nothing in this world, that can compare... for You alone are worthy... You alone are worthy....

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