The Gentang* (Part 1)
I got re-admitted into the hospital last Thursday (again). As some of you may know, I went for a nose operation last Tuesday, though I shall not go into detail here. On the early morning of thursday, my nose started bleeding uncontrollably and I was scared stiff. I prayed like a madman and my dad rushed me to the Accident and Emergency department of CGH at around 6am+.
I was initially reluctant to stay in the wards for observation, though the doctors recommended too, because after they stopped my bleeding, they said it'd be strongly advisable for me to actually rest in the wards for an entire day and to let me undergo observation.
Might as well.
I realized that it wasn't so bad after all. After spending large chunks of my time everyday while on MC blogsurfing away, and playing my computer like a deprived schoolboy, I realized just lying there on the hospital bed, reading a magazine and channel surfing away was extremely therapeutic. Being the cheapskate that I am, I chose the Class B2 ward ( which was my entitlement for my rank, a 3SG, meaning that the SAF would subsidise the fees for me). Fortunately, there was no more b2 beds left and I was upgraded to a B1 ward for free! Blessed, blessed me.
I spent most of my time generally reading my magazine, and channel surfing. I caught the repeats of American Idol in the late afternoon, followed by America's Funniest Home Videos and later Joey, Lost, and the O.C.
Anyway when it came to around 8.30, I decided to switch the channel over to Channel U to watch Jue Dui Superstar. You know, the talent show where a bunch of wannabes with lofty ambitions aim to make it big as THE next Chinese singing sensation. I've always liked reality shows like that you know, American Idol, and even America's Next Top Model, where everyday commonfolk go from normal civilian to larger than life superstar overnight. However after putting myself through 15min or so of the programme, I realized I could not go on any further.
I tried to rationalize this anomaly in my behaviour. Usually I watch American Idol every week with great relish, but why not so for its Chinese copycat version? Perhaps its the bad talent, I surmise. Yes, the talent is VERY bad. Some of them even make Sylvester Sim the gay boy look like Pavarotti. ( By the way, check out his new hair with those few streaks of purple hair. He looks gayer than ever.) But I think more so than that, is the fact that I just cannot stand most chinese songs. Sure I do listen to some great chinese artistes like David Tao, Jay Chou, F.I.R, etc. But largely, I feel that most Chinese music is crap. The Chinese music industry is replete with teenybopper girls that pubescent teenage boys drool over and adolescent girls idolize.
I get the question a lot, why I always listen to English songs so much and never touch a Chinese Music CD with a ten foot pole. Some are also perplexed why I watch so much American TV, just like Tym does. To that I'm still trying to figure out the answer.
From young, I had been infatuated with Western pop culture. More precisely, I would say it's American culture, since I don't really quite fathom why the Britons can spend all the day talking about the weather, and can even get into such heated fights over things as trivial as Premiership matches. (I'm a soccer fan here, but getting into fights over a match isn't just stupid, it's a testimony of the ugliness of us human beings.)
I think my mom realized I was quite the anomaly in our conservative Asian family. As such, she tried really hard to indoctrinate me with Confucian principles and Chinese beliefs and even sent me to Tao Nan Primary School and Chung Cheng High Main, both really cheena schools that I never quite fitted in properly. Of course, that could have just been a coincidence, since I was living in the East and all the best schools happened to be SAP schools (schools that offer the Higher Mother Tongue option).
I remember in primary school, whenever I went over to my grandmother's house to stay, I would religiously write out chinese characters over and over again -- the reason why I always aced my ting xie (chinese spelling test) in school all the time. My chinese grades in primary school always surpassed my english grades and I think for my rather mandarin-impaired mom, she was nonetheless quite pleased there was finally someone good at mandarin in the family.
Then later came my obsession with Enid Blyton, Roald Dahl, and detective fiction. Hell, I even finished The Chronicles of Narnia in primary school! All 6 books! Now, that is an achievement I tell you. When other boys my age were hooked on the computer all the time ( although I did play the computer a lot too I admit), I was actually reading my english books non stop! Then when I was 11 (primary 5), my english teacher actaully picked out my composition to read, in front of the whole class. I remember swelling with pride and makin a resolution to keep acing composition assignments in class.
I think that was when the tides were turning a little. My English grades were finally overshadowing my chinese ones, and in youthful fervour, I was reading at a pace of one book every one to two days.
Then came my suscription to SCV, and the access to all the cable channels came to me.
I was immediately hooked onto MTV and subsequently brainwashed by all the messages it sent out, the allure being way to strong-- resistance was futile. MTV and music (english ones!) became my waking obsession, and I would scrimp and save just to buy that one cd that I desired. I heard more english music than any other one in my secondary school class, since most of them preferred chinese ones. I only started listening to Chinese music much later on, when Stefanie Sun first burst into the scene.
It was only in JC, where my classmates were all very largely westernised, me coming from the Arts faculty and all, that I actually started to really treasure my Chinese roots and culture. I think my mom's one success is that, the 10 years of education in Chinese institutions actually made me fiercely loyal to my own roots. Sure, I still am infatuated with Western culture, and I love English music with all my heart, but that doesn't mean at all that I have forsaken my own Oriental roots. I love my culture; it's where I draw my strength from. I hold all my Chinese beliefs and principles close to my heart.
That's why I really feel obligated to write this post. Sometimes I feel misunderstood; people tend to take my inclination with all things Western as a sure sign that I was one of those people who wasn't proud to be Asian. You know those people that speaks in fake accents all the time because they think it's so cool, and those that scorn mandarin-speaking people because they take mandarin speaking as a sure sign of being square and unintellectual. I can say with all certainty that whenever I speak to someone trying to fake an accent, I have this visceral impulse to draw out my fist and give that guy a big punch. Why can't these people be themselves? Is it so shameful to be Asian?
To quote Joss Whedon, creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Always be yourself. Unless you suck."
How true indeed. No point being ashamed of the fact that I love Western Culture and movies and music. Even less reason to be ashamed of the fact that I am Chinese. I am an Asian and proud of it.
(Part 2 coming up soon)
*Hokkien for potato. It is often used to refer to Westerners or people who are very westernised because Westerners generally eat a lot of potatoes.
I was initially reluctant to stay in the wards for observation, though the doctors recommended too, because after they stopped my bleeding, they said it'd be strongly advisable for me to actually rest in the wards for an entire day and to let me undergo observation.
Might as well.
I realized that it wasn't so bad after all. After spending large chunks of my time everyday while on MC blogsurfing away, and playing my computer like a deprived schoolboy, I realized just lying there on the hospital bed, reading a magazine and channel surfing away was extremely therapeutic. Being the cheapskate that I am, I chose the Class B2 ward ( which was my entitlement for my rank, a 3SG, meaning that the SAF would subsidise the fees for me). Fortunately, there was no more b2 beds left and I was upgraded to a B1 ward for free! Blessed, blessed me.
I spent most of my time generally reading my magazine, and channel surfing. I caught the repeats of American Idol in the late afternoon, followed by America's Funniest Home Videos and later Joey, Lost, and the O.C.
Anyway when it came to around 8.30, I decided to switch the channel over to Channel U to watch Jue Dui Superstar. You know, the talent show where a bunch of wannabes with lofty ambitions aim to make it big as THE next Chinese singing sensation. I've always liked reality shows like that you know, American Idol, and even America's Next Top Model, where everyday commonfolk go from normal civilian to larger than life superstar overnight. However after putting myself through 15min or so of the programme, I realized I could not go on any further.
I tried to rationalize this anomaly in my behaviour. Usually I watch American Idol every week with great relish, but why not so for its Chinese copycat version? Perhaps its the bad talent, I surmise. Yes, the talent is VERY bad. Some of them even make Sylvester Sim the gay boy look like Pavarotti. ( By the way, check out his new hair with those few streaks of purple hair. He looks gayer than ever.) But I think more so than that, is the fact that I just cannot stand most chinese songs. Sure I do listen to some great chinese artistes like David Tao, Jay Chou, F.I.R, etc. But largely, I feel that most Chinese music is crap. The Chinese music industry is replete with teenybopper girls that pubescent teenage boys drool over and adolescent girls idolize.
I get the question a lot, why I always listen to English songs so much and never touch a Chinese Music CD with a ten foot pole. Some are also perplexed why I watch so much American TV, just like Tym does. To that I'm still trying to figure out the answer.
From young, I had been infatuated with Western pop culture. More precisely, I would say it's American culture, since I don't really quite fathom why the Britons can spend all the day talking about the weather, and can even get into such heated fights over things as trivial as Premiership matches. (I'm a soccer fan here, but getting into fights over a match isn't just stupid, it's a testimony of the ugliness of us human beings.)
I think my mom realized I was quite the anomaly in our conservative Asian family. As such, she tried really hard to indoctrinate me with Confucian principles and Chinese beliefs and even sent me to Tao Nan Primary School and Chung Cheng High Main, both really cheena schools that I never quite fitted in properly. Of course, that could have just been a coincidence, since I was living in the East and all the best schools happened to be SAP schools (schools that offer the Higher Mother Tongue option).
I remember in primary school, whenever I went over to my grandmother's house to stay, I would religiously write out chinese characters over and over again -- the reason why I always aced my ting xie (chinese spelling test) in school all the time. My chinese grades in primary school always surpassed my english grades and I think for my rather mandarin-impaired mom, she was nonetheless quite pleased there was finally someone good at mandarin in the family.
Then later came my obsession with Enid Blyton, Roald Dahl, and detective fiction. Hell, I even finished The Chronicles of Narnia in primary school! All 6 books! Now, that is an achievement I tell you. When other boys my age were hooked on the computer all the time ( although I did play the computer a lot too I admit), I was actually reading my english books non stop! Then when I was 11 (primary 5), my english teacher actaully picked out my composition to read, in front of the whole class. I remember swelling with pride and makin a resolution to keep acing composition assignments in class.
I think that was when the tides were turning a little. My English grades were finally overshadowing my chinese ones, and in youthful fervour, I was reading at a pace of one book every one to two days.
Then came my suscription to SCV, and the access to all the cable channels came to me.
I was immediately hooked onto MTV and subsequently brainwashed by all the messages it sent out, the allure being way to strong-- resistance was futile. MTV and music (english ones!) became my waking obsession, and I would scrimp and save just to buy that one cd that I desired. I heard more english music than any other one in my secondary school class, since most of them preferred chinese ones. I only started listening to Chinese music much later on, when Stefanie Sun first burst into the scene.
It was only in JC, where my classmates were all very largely westernised, me coming from the Arts faculty and all, that I actually started to really treasure my Chinese roots and culture. I think my mom's one success is that, the 10 years of education in Chinese institutions actually made me fiercely loyal to my own roots. Sure, I still am infatuated with Western culture, and I love English music with all my heart, but that doesn't mean at all that I have forsaken my own Oriental roots. I love my culture; it's where I draw my strength from. I hold all my Chinese beliefs and principles close to my heart.
That's why I really feel obligated to write this post. Sometimes I feel misunderstood; people tend to take my inclination with all things Western as a sure sign that I was one of those people who wasn't proud to be Asian. You know those people that speaks in fake accents all the time because they think it's so cool, and those that scorn mandarin-speaking people because they take mandarin speaking as a sure sign of being square and unintellectual. I can say with all certainty that whenever I speak to someone trying to fake an accent, I have this visceral impulse to draw out my fist and give that guy a big punch. Why can't these people be themselves? Is it so shameful to be Asian?
To quote Joss Whedon, creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Always be yourself. Unless you suck."
How true indeed. No point being ashamed of the fact that I love Western Culture and movies and music. Even less reason to be ashamed of the fact that I am Chinese. I am an Asian and proud of it.
(Part 2 coming up soon)
*Hokkien for potato. It is often used to refer to Westerners or people who are very westernised because Westerners generally eat a lot of potatoes.
