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Thursday, November 11, 2004 

PISSED

Came back today. Was actually in a good mood despite feeling stress descending upon me and weighing me down like an iron brick. My over-study in camp... ok I'm his understudy... and he's about to ORD ( finish his NS term) soon... and seriously over the past 3 weeks I've grown to be rather close with him and my sergeant... haha it was great fun with him... but the fact is that I've grown really reliant on him the past 3 weeks... despite telling him and myself that I want to be much more independent in camp and to take more initiative... coz as you guys know I'm a VM... doing lotsa repair and maintenance stuff to vehicles, and there are many things which I don't know about the system. So I guess I'm really going to struggle without him. Oh well, but I guess I'm entering a slightly different season in my life, and I've to adapt. My over-study actually told me that my life here is going to be pretty tough and he was speaking from experience, because our superiors aren't very great people. Plus, among my vocation, I'm the only NSF, so that adds to the stress. But anyway I'll definitely be able to cope with the stress because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! Anyway yesterday my friend bidded me a farewell because the next time I see him it would be the 27th of november and that would be like 2 weeks away from his ORD date. I kinda forgot about that quickly and yesterday after booking out of camp I rushed down to Chinatown to do saturation for my elderly ministry... haha... I'm starting to like serving the elderly... although some of them can be naggy to the core. Went with my district leader and the ex-IC of the district. But yesterday it was a pretty fruitless session coz only like got 2 or 3 people genuinely interested to go for the big day. Still, we managed to minister to some of our regulars so it wasn't that bad.

After that rushed down to cineleisure... wanted to go PS to watch movie with my 2 JC buddies, Kenneth and Tuan Hee, but those 2 idiots dua me and tricked me to go Kbox! Grr... yesterday I really wasn't in the KTV mood... so before that i told them not to go Ktv. When I reached cineleisure... I asked them where they are and they told me Kbox! Grr... was a little annoyed... so anyway I just went HMV to chill out a while by myself listening to cds... I can't get enough of Jamelia's Superstar... it really rocks... although it's a pretty old song. I kept listening to Britney Spears over and over again too. haha. But the CD I really really want to get is Nelly's Suit and Sweat CDs. But HMV didn't let us preview his cd... so I think I'm going to Tower when I have the time to preview his album... should be pretty good. I love My Place! Super cool song. Anyway after taking my own sweet time for a while listening to CDs, then I finally went to Kbox with them. It wasn't as boring as expected..... it was pretty fun Kbox-ing with them.. Haha. From my jc experience, I thought they weren't the kind to ktv with one... but they kinda proved me wrong, so yesterday was not bad. Plus, my bill was settled by Kenneth. Thanks bro!

Then when I got home, went straight to my room and the computer was on. My bro was playing com games on the computer outside and he was downloading pornographic stuff on our com! I was HELLUVA pissed. And he did something even worse which I think I better not say here. I'm rather close with my bro, but it's just that now he knows I know that he downloads those kinda stuff. In fact, he also knows I used to do those kinda stuff too. So it's like, he doesn't care anymore. And it's a constant source of temptation. I'm so tired, so pissed, but I don't think I have the energy to do anything about it anymore. The stress from work, and commitment to ministry and my friends and other stuff are kinda draining me a little. I've not really had the chance this week to wait before the Lord and abide in his presence coz I was so super tired recently. So I guess today would be the best time. But I've decided I've to do something about my bro's problem. I have to talk to him about it soon.

2 more days to big day. Excited for the Dialect Church Big Day. Know it's gonna be great. Even more excited for the main Big Day event at Singapore Indoor Stadium. 3 more days to FUNFUNFUN at Merchant Court Hotel Ruby Suite with my cell group! And makeover session with Xiuzhi at Red Earth coming soon!

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