The Exclamation Mark Blog!

i'm partly amused and partly irritated by singaporeans. especially those avid singapore idol fans or anti-fans or whatever they are. just pop by the forums (i was reading the olinda thread) and you get what i mean.

me included, i'm amazed at how much focus we give to those we hate. first it was maia, then jerry, then sly. i was fairly entertained by tanglinboy (who was banned) with his anti-oli comments and his fascinating use of hokkien and english vulgarities.

imo, if you want to fight, do it credibly. do it with intellect, do it with wit. any way but using vulgarities. it might seem cool at first, spewing all your "ccb" and "knn" and "f___s" like spittle that comes out of your mouth. after a while, it just screams "crude" and "barbaric". simply tasteless. since tanglinboy made such an impression on me for being an ass, let him be the recipient of this post:

fine, we all know you hate olinda. so be it - we get it! a simple post with "i hate olinda. she can't sing." afterall, the government didn't legislate compulsory education for singaporeans for nothing. you go around attacking other oli fans with a parang, making enemies. is there really such a need?

oh wait. even without thrashing, your lack of iq that clearly radiates from your writing would have easily made enemies for you.

on a totally different note, however, let's get to the present.

one of the latest post was absolutely appalling. "The total sum that we are going to put in for SLY is running into tens of thousands and we do need the resources to call for him."

my point?

1. well, if you have that much money to waste, why don't you just save it and give them all to me or some deserving charities (nkf is NOT a charity)? whyfore give "tens of thousands" to starhub (evil capitalist firm) just because you want sly (mr. "kees") to win?


2. imo, i'm kind of appalled at the extremity of this. i have my reservations about voting a guy who looks beng, sounds chinese and mispronounces his engrish english into world idol. what would the americans think in the post william hung and jin days? (about the latter, i'll rant about him some other day)


3. based on logical assumptions, voting for sly means one thinks he has the talent. talent? yeah maybe in chinese rock. if we want to talk versatility and quality here, sly is definitely not my man.


4. and to all you deluded singaporeans (and mostly sly fans to boot from the latest singapore idol telecast) who think singapore idol is the yellow brick road for singapore to carve out international stars, dream on. i'm basically becoming more and more disillusioned by the way singapore is voting - first jerry ong, now sly. you call them talent? (what about people like nana, jeassea and david? you mean they are not talent?) put them next to our american or australian idol and see how lacklustre our so-called talent is.

mediacock.. oops. i meant mediacorp is seriously screwing things up. just like most of the things we try to copy and end up making a complete mockery of ourselves. two words would emphasize my point - speakers' corner. you can virtually see spiderwebs hanging around that place now.

we may excel in the biosciences, we may have good food and the top rated airport, good tourism (erm.. right), first rate education...

when it comes to having the freedom to choose wisely, we fail miserably. when it comes to creativity, it's close to non-existent.

Week's almost over. I think I'm starting to go through the motions again. Darn!

Week's been really stressful. Low points all the way. The only high point is that I'm starting to bond with a few people in camp... especially another Christian called Sean (though he's no longer attending church). Plus that guy was frm HCJC... so I can speak to him in both languages... makes me feel much more comfortable, and there's no communication barrier.

Big boss from hell and 2nd boss from hell were as per normal, equally unpredictable. None of them were really nasty or harsh to me, but the stress and pressure they put on everyone is crushing. But big boss from hell kinda likes me coz he thinks I'm funny... haha I have to admit I don't think there's anyway as "gong" or klutzy as me in camp. That's one of my redemption points... but sometimes I wish I can be the capable guy instead of the "gong" one! haha. 2nd boss from hell kinda thinks I'm not really cut off for mechanic work, so he's kind of thinking of making me his clerk.. which is good coz I'd prefer that a lot a lot a lot a lot more than being a dirty crappy unappreciated VM for the next 1 year 4 months... thanks for saving me from a fate worse than death! haha.

Really feel weird because so many people in camp are trying to get to know me more. But sometimes I can be v lazy to strike up a conversation. Lazy to communicate. Lazy to get to know people. Just want to be alone in camp... need some peace! Thank God for people like Kevin, Sean, and Sebastian in camp... no social pressure. All the people are really nice actually, but for some inexplicable reason I like to be alone? I always gravitate naturally towards a choice that will lead me to some situation with little or no social pressure at all. Being by myself, being with God, being with my close friends and being with my church friends causes little or no social pressure at all.

Everytime I drift a little further away from God, I always feel like I'm slipping back to depression. I just cant seem to understand that personalizing idiosyncracy or mine. I become apathetic towards things around me and try to seek some form of excitement or gratification through other outlets. Coz depression is basically the absence of everything: the absence of feeling, the absence of response, the absence of interest. Man, I hope I do not slip back into it! (Oops guys! Hope you guys dun mind this post... I know may have some "cheem" words! :D) I think when the stress comes and the tireness and weariness comes, i just kind of stop finding rest and refuge in God and kind of grow a little cold spiritually. NOt as in backsliding or what, but just kind of cold. This has to stop! I have to muster up all my energy and strength to make the choice to grow closer to God again. Any Christian friend reading this, please send some encouragement to me! :D.

Tuesday's Bible Seminar was great... it was on "How Shall we Live?"... really really learnt a lot from it. However, I was down with a flu and was terribly uncomfortable throughout the whole session.. kept blowing my nose. Thank God at least that I didn't have to rush down to church by taking a cab, coz on Tuesday my unit had this late Deepavali celebration at the Tuas Naval Base ( my camp is Changi Naval Base)... so after falling out I went down to church rightaway. The celebration was crap but during the ride to Tuas Naval Base in the 1.5 Tonner... I really had a great talk with Sean. Really heartening to know I have a brother in camp that shares so many similar experiences with me!

Yesterday, caught The Incredibles with my JC friend Tuan Hee. Haha he was one of my better friends in JC, though I won't consider him a really close friend yet, but anyhow I was glad we had to chance to catch up. Kenneth couldn't come along coz he just came back from his 2 weeks continuous overseas mission. Tuan Hee had to be the most swa ku person I know! From Bugis MRT he didn't know how to go to Bugis Junction! Mi gosh I couldn't believe he was living in Singapore. So he like wasted my Hp bill calling me like 5 times in 25 min getting me to direct him there. Luckily he managed to make it down to the cinema in time.

The Incredibles was... SIMPLY INCREDIBLY! It's a really smart intelligent show with many funny spoofs of cultural stereotypes. It however tries a little too hard to be funny sometimes... it really wasn't as funny as I expected, though at some moments I really laughed my hearts out. Today I returned the vcd I rented 2 weeks ago, "Open Hearts" which I didn't watch at all. plus got 6 dollars fine. Darn! But I rented 2 DVDs... Buffy the vampire Slayer episodes and Angel episodes! Haha... really can't wait to watch.

Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord. Dunno why but felt like saying that!

******************************************************************************

Really glad I'm getting closer to my family... though I still have little communication with my dad... I'm talking more to my mom now. My dad's always been trying to fulfil this typical "father" role... the typical breadwinner, harsh disciplinarian kinda dad... it's just I never really got any acknowledgement or advise or words of wisdom from him during my most crucial period of time: my teenage years. I guess I find a lot of those stuff, which are important elements of growth, in my heavenly Father. Which anyone reading this blog can tell coz of all my bible quoting antics. haha but I'm lucky I'm tight with my bro and my mom, and now more so with my sis too.

Have a nice day.

Signing out,
the manic depressive, emotionally unstable, neurotic owner of this blog

All right, today my 2nd boss from hell reported sick outside, and according to my sergeant, that's the first time he's doing so in like 6-7 months. That's amazing. Today it was so much more stress free coz he wasn't around to order us around... and it was so much more noise-free. Didn't have to see his irritating black face around. But ironically today when he was not around, there were SOOO many problems with all the vehicles and there were so many breakdowns, my two sergeants ( both regulars) and I were literally rushing around the place. I didn't even have time for breakfast, though admittedly I did slack around while doing my stuff. Haha. Today Changi Defence Squadron ( I'm in Changi Naval Base) went on their exercise Praxis so they requested lotsa vehicles from us and I think there is going to be a lot of problems arising in the next few days. Oh well. Just deal with it. I'll face everyday with a positive attitude. Tomorrow is the bible conference! So excited! The message is going to be great, and can see my cell group mates again.

Quite grateful to God because of his faithfulness to me. Although I haven't really been praying for the salvation of my family every single day, I have actually prayed and fasted about it a couple of times. And God actually responded and now my cousin's saved! Even my grandma impressed by the stuff I do for my Elderly ministry in church.

Also really glad that I've really found it easier to share lotsa stuff with Eunice, my cell group member. She also shares a lot of stuff with me, so it's kind of a mutual thing. Really glad for our friendship. And I'm so really happy she's doing so well with her eye candy. Of late, she's really been on cloud 9. She's always so ecstatic whenever she talks about him and keeps swooning non stop! Grrr... girl, you have to chill!

Quite happy as of late I've been contacting some of my ex-sch mates. Of late, I've been in touch with Tuan Hee, one of my good friends in JC ( one of the few people I can really call my friends in JC. My JC life was absolutely pathetic. I was such a loser socially! Haha)... I remember he, Kenneth and I... the 3 musketeers in our class....man, all those memories I had! Also, I've again been regularly sms-ing one of my best friends Xiuzhi ( former classmates in sec3-4 and still one of my best friends). Also, Caleb, who once used to be my best friend, now still a really good friend of mine, and my friend of 13 years, has been bugging me to go cycling with him. He's enlisting soon and he's finished his poly le. All the best, bro! You can do it! And it's time for ya to shed some weight!

Still a little worried about the tension between Jiajin and Pamela. Both seem to be really busy, and a few weeks ago there seems to be some misunderstanding... or maybe Jiajin really did wrong Pamela. But both of them are my really good friends, and I want things to turn out fine. Jiajin or Pamela, if you're reading this, I hope you guys settle whatever differences there are between the both of you.. Jiajin I hope you will be truthful to your friends... if you've done anything wrong... be a man and admit it!

Alvin, my wonderful cell group member, is having his block leave during the last 2 weeks of December. The first thing he did was tell Sharon my dear cell group leader that whatever help the church needs with anything, just buzz him. Man, that guy never fails to amaze me with his incredible attitude of servanthood. Speaking about ministry, I'm really really really tempted to join the sound ministry, because it's been one of my interests, besides choir and drama. But for some inexplicable reason, I don't see myself on the choir platform anytime soon, so no, I won't be joining choir most likely. I guess I'll probably stick to dialect ministry for a few more months. It's a great ministry I like but it's only the time schedule that's the major problem. It's giving me a terrible headache. Renzheng keeps asking us to join the choir! Anyway Dale is considering Percussion, Choir, and children's church. Somehow I feel he'll fit in best in Children's Church... haha I think the kids will love him because of his personality ( and also because he resembles Bao Qing Tian).

My cousin just asked me to help out Gracehaven. Gracehaven is like this home for children and teenagers at risk, whom mostly come from dysfunctional families. You can either volunteer by giving tuition, teaching music or doing other miscellaneous stuff, or you can be like in charge of 5 kids and start to mentor them, befriend them, talk to them, etc... and try to make them feel like they have a family. That is so cool! I don't know why but since I was in secondary school, I always had a passion for these children/young teenagers at risk. My cousin just started out and he's like the cell leader of 5 young teenagers... like those just going through puberty those kind... and he's trying to befriend 1 youth at risk and eventually trying to get him to church. That is so noble! And cool. Absolutely cool. I'm really really interested in helping out and once I've managed to balance my time schedule properly I'll definitely start volunteering.

I love Gelare's thick shake. It's a milk shake but u can blend it with different ice cream flavours. there's a thin shake and a thick shake and I always order a thick shake so I get to choose 3 different ice cream flavours. It's totally droolicious and yummilicious! I love it to the core. But one large cup ( which u take less than 5-10 min to finish) costs like $7.40. so damn, it does make me a much poorer person after the drink.

My uncle just told me grandma that he saw me helping the elderly at Chinatown. My grandma's impressed! Migosh I didn't even know about it until my Christian aunt told me about it... she told me that my grandma was actually quite impressed that I got this kind of "ai xin" (caring heart) towards the elderly. Hehe. So I guess it's a slight change of heart on her part... because I think she may start to see Christ working in me and may be more open to Christianity. Well, this is a baby step, but every step counts, yeah? And my cousin who used to be super irritating last time actually converted to a Christian!!! OH MAN!!! I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy for him. sososososoos happy.

Today, caught Taxi with Renzheng and Jingfa after lunch with the cell group. Really nice show. It's totally hilarious!!! I laughed my butts off. And the car chase scenes were SOOOO cool. And even more than that, the actress who acted as the Brazilian thief was Gisele Bundchen!!!! For those of you who are unenlightened, she's one of the world's top supermodels and she's one of the Victoria's Secret models along with Tyra Banks and Heidi Klum. But if you ask me, she's the hottest among the 3! She's sooooo hot.

Also on saturday morning, I watched the dvd I rented, Last Life in the universe. It's totally amazing! Anyone who has the opportunity should watch it. I've not caught so many of the movies which i said I wanted to watch in my blog entry a few weeks ago. So I've just compiled a new list.

Top 5 movies I wanna watch:
5. Birth
4. Ocean's 12 (coming out soon!!!)
3. Blade 3 ( coming ou soon!!!)
2. Before Sunset ( ending it's run soon. and I just got hold of the vcd of the prequel, Before Sunrise, at just $9.90!!!)
1. The Incredibles!

Top 3 vcd/dvds I wanna rent or buy:
3: buffy the vampire slayer and Angel episodes on dvd
2: Any Oscar winning movie.
1: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind! ( although I watched it, but it's sooo good and it left such a strong impression on me that I just HAVE TO buy the dvd!)

Top few songs that never leaves my head:
City Harvest Church --- To Harvest ( really nice song composed by my church)
Britney Spears -- My Prerogative
Nelly ft. Tim McGraw --- Over and over again
Bill Withers --- Ain't No Sunshine... ( really old song, from the Notting Hill soundtrack, in fact last time never heard of it before... but after Taufik Batisah performed it on Singapore Idol, I just HAD TO download it. It's great great great. And I think Taufik's version was even better.)


To end off this post, to the goons out there who vote for Sylvester Sim dutifully, loyally and obsessively, I can only group them into 3 groups.
1) tone deaf ah lians/ ah bengs
2) tone deaf , dumb, silly, teenage girls
3) tone deaf, dumb, idiotic gay men.

Don't you guys just agree? I just can't get his appeal. Taufik rocks. I just LOVE his style. He's such a natural performer and has such an incredible, soulful voice. His rendition of Ain't No Sunshine just blew me away!

It's a been a loooong time guys! I'm really sorry to have disappointed my faithful readers but as of late, I've either been too busy, too tired, or too lazy to update my blog. I always have tons of stuff to write, but each time I'm in the midst of completing my post, I kinda lose my inspiration and suffer from writer's block. Haha. So anyway today I'm gonna discipline myself to sit down for at least 15min to think through what to say and type it out!

All right last week I had a few eventful activities. Last weekend, my church actually organized two really really special services at the Singapore Indoor Stadium. One was on saturday night, and before that I was serving for the Elderly ministry of my church and they had a special service at church also. By the time I rushed down to Singapore Indoor Stadium after sending my elderly members back to their estate (Chinatown), I was super exhausted. But service was great as usual. And it was the first time I was a counsellor!!! YESH!!!!! So happy my cgl Sharon actually gave me the opportunity. Thanks Sharon!!!Sunday morning woke up a little late ( actually it was 9am, quite early for normal people's standards, and yet a little late for service that dat), and had to take a cab down to SIS coz if not I'd be late for service. Pam and Lynn came with 2 of Pam's cousins! Haha that despite them going through their examinations... really glad. Pam's little cousin jaslyn added me on friendster. Haha. Also, Kenneth came to church and that was his first time in a loooong looong time! I'm also glad for him. Although I could tell he was really bored during the service. (I'm a little ashamed by saying this, but that day I found the message really dull too. I think it was coz I was just way too tired.)

After the service, Pam, Lynn and Pam's cousins left early. Kenneth stayed around a little longer before he had to go off for something. Anyway some of my cell group members stayed around for the carnival my church organized. It was really, really packed, and the queues to the rides were INCREDIBLY LONG. Gosh, I only used like 5 dollars out of my 20 dollar coupons. Gosh. What a waste. But praise God that on Sunday the weather was good enough for most of the rides to carry through... so yeah... and at least I had fun. I took 45 min to queue up for the trampoline bungee ride thingie!!! Oh man... that ride was really cool. A little frightening at first, but the feeling when u're like so high off the ground was just AWESOME.

Later on me Gabriel and Renzheng booked into our suite at Merchant Court hotel!!!! My aunt helped us get the suite for like 75 bucks when it usually costs a few hundred. Praise God for such a blessing! Thanks auntie Clara! in total 12 of us stayed overnight and there were just 4 girls I think that stayed overnight. the 8 guys had to make do with the sofas and the chairs to sleep! Luckily my aunt actually made special arrangements for another bed to be placed in the suite. So Dale ( Bao Qing Tian) and I shared the bed. Grr... it was so small! We had no space to toss and turn at all... but at least we had the blanket. The other guys didn't have it so easy. They were literally shivering to death in the middle of the night! Jingfa got up halfway and set it to the max temperature, which was 28 degrees. Haha... that was a wee bit too extreme! Anyway we played lotsa stuff there, Gabriel brought his PS2 so we played lotsa games... Eunice, Cass, Sharon, Gabriel, Renzheng and I had a really fun game of monopoly... though i was ganged up against!Unfair! *wails*

The day went by really quickly. The next day it was Monday morning already (public holiday due to Hari Raya Puasa) and Jingfa, Renzheng and I had a really great breakfast meal at the Merchant Court market cafe!!! Oh man. Yummilicous. We had another round of monopoly, then we watched New Police Story on Dvd... it's a great show! Then before we knew it, the long weekend's over. Grrr.

The 4 working days seemed to be a little longer than usual. My superiors were in a slightly better mood but on thursday and friday the mood changed drastically and it was incredibly stressful again. I just totally can't stand my big boss from hell because he's so temperamental. My direct IC which is the 2nd boss from hell is also a horrible person. My seniors keep telling me about him. Horrible guy man. Thank goodness most of the other people there are really nice, and they really genuinely make an effort to talk to me and get to know me... so i also do the same back to them.

This week, cg and service really rejuvenated me. Kinda disappointed Pam didn't turn up coz of her exams but Pam if you're reading this.... all the best... and keep shining... I'll try to keep you in my prayers whenever I remember. Anyway didn't serve in dialect church this week coz of my stupid flu which i contracted in the middle of the week. Everyone in my camp is getting sick coz of the incessant coughing going around and the germs spreading around. But I'll pray for strength and healing!

olinda is out. but she fulfilled what she promised herself:

that if she ever had to go, she'll go out gracefully - like leandra.

i can't think of anything to say.. too stunned by her exit (actually, not really since those stupid sly fans are so willing to spend a good proportion of their pocket money voting for him). too saddened by the realisation that i won't hear her sing on dec 1.

please excuse me while i cry for olinda.

[edit at 22:04]
after ranting with my friend about olinda's unwarranted boot, we came up with a surefire way to hit it big in singapore idol 2 (yes we're so going to audition. *sweet smile* oh wait.. i'm supposed to not know how to smile. *brave attempt at twitching the lips* =] ) thus, here i present to you the marilyn and berton's (that's my friend's name) surefire way to make it big on singapore idol checklist!

• go into the contest with *no* knowledge of how to smile. =) (opps.. not supposed to smile) =]


• when the judges (especially ken lim) states that you've got the same problem as him, make a weak attempt to twitch your lips and wink at the audience (*look ma! i *know* how to smile! =D )


• try to rock and screech your way through the song. it doesn't matter if you messed it up since your smile =) will ensure the votes rolling in for you.


• mess up your diction. like, "kiss" for "keeesh" and "everybody" for "every money". your cult would totally adore it. (come to think of it, so would the rest of the world. quaint huh?)


• appear in the competition with hair dyed in the colours of the rainbows. it would be best if you appear like a cute shiz-tsu puppy one night and a black labrador the next. you're cute, you're lovable, you're VOTABLE.


• and don't forget to smile. =)

i'll add more when i think of it. too distraught to even continue revision. =(

[/edit]

Really was supposed to put up a post on friday, but fell asleep and didn't. Today I was really out the whole day doing church stuff, elderly ministry and all and I just came back home! And by the time I'm home it's already past midnight, meaning it's Sunday! How time flies. 2 more days to the end of our long weekend. Sigh!

Today's attendance for dialect church wasn't fantastic, but still it was an improvement, so thank God. Service at Singapore Indoor Stadium was totally packed to the brim... we were all really like canned sardines in there coz it was so packed. But it was really great.

Anyway let me proceed on to the topic which i want to broach on: Singapore Idol.

Tragedy struck. Crap happens. Daphne's out. What a travesty. I mean I'm not a fan of hers... in fact I do not even think she's a good singer at all, no where near the league of Olinda, Jeassea, Taufik and Nana... But still I think she brought a kind of shine to the idol stage. Her effervescent cheerfulness was infectious and the joy she brought on to stage was commendabe. Her voice is way to whiney for me though. But the one thing that pisses me off more than anything else was the fact she lost out to Sylvester. Can anyone please explain the appeal of Sylvester to me?
*looks around hard for anwers*. Ok, Right.... I GEDDIT.... He can smile.... ok... can someone draw an equation here? Does smile = X-factor? No becuz what I'm reading in magazines is some silly dumb teenage girl saying that Sylvester really have the X-factor esp when he smiles. What the....?!!! Ok right, *smiles*... does that mean I have the X-factor too? Ok maybe yes. Haha. But that's such a simplistic mentality! Sylvester keeps going the same dumb fake routine where he will smile at the end and blink his eyes and do his lame rocker hand actions.

One word: PASSE.

Rockers don't do that anymore! That's for hip hop artists. And Sylvester is NOT hip hop. A rocker hopeful who comes across as too wannabe-ish. And who looks like a vampire. And sounds as thin as air. That's my summary of Sylvester. But oh well, kazillions of estrogen charged mentally challenged, Prince-Charming fantasising young teenage girls always tend to act irrationally when they see good looking guys they deem as friendly. Oh wait, Syl's not even good looking? Yucks! So can someone please explain to me his appeal? It's really bewildering.

gosh. one last sentence to end this post. Ken Lim sucks.

dear members of the sylvester cult:

please go hang yourself/ jump off a building/ take an overdose of sleeping pills/ ________ (insert other modes of commiting suicide)*. a termination of the most obvious sign(s) of your brainlessness/ deafness/ blindness/ bad taste* is most appreciated and beneficial to the survival of the human race.

* circle where applicable

your sincerely,
marilyn
president of the anti-moronic-over-talentless-singers club
(membership open to whoever wants to join)


brainless morons who squeal and faint over their idol (aka those who only look good and can't sing aka F4, energy, the list of tuneless boybands goes on...) should just go and brainwash themselves or something.. rid themselves of these trash and get started on something more purposeful, such as learning to keep quiet.

i realise i've been ranting alot about entertainment unlike those inspiring blogs which actually comment on political issues with a touch of class. well.. i may or may not venture into that really vast area called politics but that shall have to wait till my exams are over. till then, ta~

p/s: if any boyband fans want to shoot me for dissing their sacred idol(s) please feel free to flood my e-mail inbox (the email is real just in case you are skeptical. go ahead and try. i just don't want to give my main e-mail address out just in case i have to block an influx of moronic e-mails..) i'm interested in seeing whether you guys have a brain. don't bother trying to trash me if all you can say is "omg you suck cos you hate my wonderful idol sylvester/boyband/whoever", cos you're just proving my point. (amen to the genius who created the delete button.) once sent, your letter will become my property which i would have no qualms using to show the entire world your stupidity or your rare spark of intelligence. have a nice day.

After watching last week's show, I was incredibly dejected and shattered with the decisions made by the public. The previous week I voted 5 times for Leandra! And the fact that she got kicked out last week just really crushed me. I really really like Leandra becoz I thought she had a great soulful voice and was really, really unique. And I also like the fact that she did the whole soul thing really well. Sigh. So sad she got kicked out. Last week the ever-terrible Sly just send shivers down my spine. YUCKS!!! When he sang I swear, I almost vomitted. And Justin Timberlake fans all around Singapore must be wanting to crucify Sly after his absolutely abysmal and dreadful rendition of JT's Rock Your body. And the whiney-voiced absolutely talentless Daphne ( although she's a little better than Sly to me) just really CMI with her version of R Kelly's and Celine Dion's I'm Your Angel.

This week, Asian Pop was a terrible genre. I think it was the most dry genre of all the weeks. Daphne was terrible as usual. I don't think I can stand her whining anymore. Syl was terrible singing David Tao's song. as for his 2nd song was only ok. Taufik and Olinda owned!!!

Finally, can someone explain to me why a moronic bastard like Ken Lim is allowed to judge the show? He thinks he's so intelligent when seriously all his comments are CRAP!!! What the hell is he even talking about on the show? And he's so blatantly biased towards Daphne and Sly that he just protects them all the time, and keeps slamming Taufik and Olinda. And what's with Olinda not being ready to become an idol?!!! She's anytime more ready than your Daphne and Sly!!! Ken Lim is the most moronic evil pestilence this world has ever seen.

I have 3 GV movie vouchers left to clear before the end of the year, so I'm thinking I have to use them soon. I actually use most of my vouchers on my friends instead of myself. I think I only use like 50% of the vouchers I had on myself and the rest I use on my friends like Kenneth and Renzheng. I even treated Ian and Eugene ( my army friends in my old camp) to movie before. Shrek 2!!! Haha really cool show.

Movies I really really really want to watch:
5) Cellular ( heard Lynn giving it rave reviews... so I'll catch it using my GV voucher)
4) The Grudge ( coz got my droolicious Sarah Michelle Gellar! but in hindsight I may not coz reviewers slammed the show)
3) Maria Full of Grace ( This show is ending its run soon, I don't know if I got chance to watch it)
2) The Incredibles ( opening soon! Yesterday got the sneaks already at Lido... This one is MUST WATCH!!)

and on the top of my want to watch movie list, it's.....

1) Before Sunset

all right, I'm not attached now or neither am I deeply in love with anyone or what... but I love the concept for this show. It's a 80+ min show shot in real time. Which means it's slightly over 1 hr 20min and it's all like in real time... it's as if it's 1 hr 20min in real life. And it's mostly conversation between this guy and this gal. They talk about all sorts of stuff, like love, life and sex and relationships. The one thing that captivates me most about movies is not cinematography, not even the narrative style, but the DIALOGUE!!! I love dialogue and especially if it's witty and fun. So this show is a must must must watch for me.

Came back today. Was actually in a good mood despite feeling stress descending upon me and weighing me down like an iron brick. My over-study in camp... ok I'm his understudy... and he's about to ORD ( finish his NS term) soon... and seriously over the past 3 weeks I've grown to be rather close with him and my sergeant... haha it was great fun with him... but the fact is that I've grown really reliant on him the past 3 weeks... despite telling him and myself that I want to be much more independent in camp and to take more initiative... coz as you guys know I'm a VM... doing lotsa repair and maintenance stuff to vehicles, and there are many things which I don't know about the system. So I guess I'm really going to struggle without him. Oh well, but I guess I'm entering a slightly different season in my life, and I've to adapt. My over-study actually told me that my life here is going to be pretty tough and he was speaking from experience, because our superiors aren't very great people. Plus, among my vocation, I'm the only NSF, so that adds to the stress. But anyway I'll definitely be able to cope with the stress because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! Anyway yesterday my friend bidded me a farewell because the next time I see him it would be the 27th of november and that would be like 2 weeks away from his ORD date. I kinda forgot about that quickly and yesterday after booking out of camp I rushed down to Chinatown to do saturation for my elderly ministry... haha... I'm starting to like serving the elderly... although some of them can be naggy to the core. Went with my district leader and the ex-IC of the district. But yesterday it was a pretty fruitless session coz only like got 2 or 3 people genuinely interested to go for the big day. Still, we managed to minister to some of our regulars so it wasn't that bad.

After that rushed down to cineleisure... wanted to go PS to watch movie with my 2 JC buddies, Kenneth and Tuan Hee, but those 2 idiots dua me and tricked me to go Kbox! Grr... yesterday I really wasn't in the KTV mood... so before that i told them not to go Ktv. When I reached cineleisure... I asked them where they are and they told me Kbox! Grr... was a little annoyed... so anyway I just went HMV to chill out a while by myself listening to cds... I can't get enough of Jamelia's Superstar... it really rocks... although it's a pretty old song. I kept listening to Britney Spears over and over again too. haha. But the CD I really really want to get is Nelly's Suit and Sweat CDs. But HMV didn't let us preview his cd... so I think I'm going to Tower when I have the time to preview his album... should be pretty good. I love My Place! Super cool song. Anyway after taking my own sweet time for a while listening to CDs, then I finally went to Kbox with them. It wasn't as boring as expected..... it was pretty fun Kbox-ing with them.. Haha. From my jc experience, I thought they weren't the kind to ktv with one... but they kinda proved me wrong, so yesterday was not bad. Plus, my bill was settled by Kenneth. Thanks bro!

Then when I got home, went straight to my room and the computer was on. My bro was playing com games on the computer outside and he was downloading pornographic stuff on our com! I was HELLUVA pissed. And he did something even worse which I think I better not say here. I'm rather close with my bro, but it's just that now he knows I know that he downloads those kinda stuff. In fact, he also knows I used to do those kinda stuff too. So it's like, he doesn't care anymore. And it's a constant source of temptation. I'm so tired, so pissed, but I don't think I have the energy to do anything about it anymore. The stress from work, and commitment to ministry and my friends and other stuff are kinda draining me a little. I've not really had the chance this week to wait before the Lord and abide in his presence coz I was so super tired recently. So I guess today would be the best time. But I've decided I've to do something about my bro's problem. I have to talk to him about it soon.

2 more days to big day. Excited for the Dialect Church Big Day. Know it's gonna be great. Even more excited for the main Big Day event at Singapore Indoor Stadium. 3 more days to FUNFUNFUN at Merchant Court Hotel Ruby Suite with my cell group! And makeover session with Xiuzhi at Red Earth coming soon!

yes, after cooling off from anti-maia (i kinda miss her now) and anti-jerry sentiments, my new object of rant is....... sylvester sim.

i realise i run the risk of getting shot at by several members of the oh-so-honourable sylvester cult (omg it's not a club, it's a bloody cult!) and ardent fans of the following guys i'm about to diss... *holds up her right to freedom of speech on the internet*

sylvester, chrissypoo and andy joshua lim all make me realise one really important thing: singapore seriously has a lack of good looking guys for us girls to drool over (america has tom cruise and brad pitt &co, britain has hugh grant &co.. even from our good neighbour thailand we got utt and a few other cuties.. what do we have? tay ping hui?). and the few good lookers that actually call themselves singaporean are either attached or married (i.e. that lasalle sia dude miguel who was featured in one chinese variety show hosted by chong qing and belinda lee)

(not that i'm saying singapore has droolicious beauties either. miss universe and miss world sadly proved to us year after year that our little red dot could not make it anywhere significant on the beautiful people rankings.)

anyway, back to the target of this blogpost.

sylvester sylvester sylvester... you're SO hot that girls trip over their own two feet at the sight of you. you get them so worked up, some even desire ripping your clothes off you. wow, doesn't that put you in the same league as... i don't know.. william hung? ok, in terms of appeal to hormonally charged and blind females.

fortunately, you can sing. but only rock tunes. that was what saved you from the wrath of many who retained an ounce of musical sense when jerry was reigning on the throne of "most unpopular idol". and whilst jerry was crowned king of idol unpopulars, by some twisted stroke of good luck, you got yourself a cult and that saved your sorry ass from rising to the top immediately after jerry got booted out.

i never quite understood your appeal. if i do meet you on the streets, do enlighten me yah?

---

singapore. our lovely little island that produces good airports, governments, food, services (*rolls eyes*), education systems, breakthroughs in science, sentosa... impressive huh? i noted that there are a few areas that constantly evades our attempt at excellence - mostly in terms of entertainment:

• popular musical talents - tang quartet may count but how many of you guys really heard them? anyway, this point shall be expanded in the following paragraphs


• internationally acclaimed authors (catherine lim does not count)


• internationally acclaimed theatre productions - all we can produce is plays on sex, sex and more sex despite government liberalisation and a beautiful esplanade constructed for our artistic pleasure. maybe those durian spikes popped every bubble of inspiration and boiled it down to the most primitive subject.

as i previously wrote, people dissed our talent shows, saying that we could never produce anything that can remotely create a ripple on the international music/acting scene. being the patriotic girl i am (i'm being sarcastic to the best of my ability), i wonder why is it that singapore could never make it big on the international entertainment scene.

true, we have our twin suns (stephanie sun and sun ho) in the chinese pop music scene; we had fann wong (fann who?) in hollywood alongside jackie chan (now, seriously, fann who?); we had countless talentimes and fame awards and threw out cccrush (previously a gibberish mouthful cherry chocolate candy) and triple noize and... the list of forgotten stars goes on.

e-mail someone who never been to our sunny island before and they will probably scratch their heads at these names. hell, some don't even know that singapore exists on the atlas.

now some are saying that singapore idol is not up to standard. even olinda and possibly taufik (who are undoubtedly the most talented and versatile of the motley lot) are apparently lack lustre when placed alongside their american counterparts.

at the end of the day, my burning question is: why can't we make it big in this aspect? is it (oh horror of horrors!) the singlish?

aiyoh. no wonder we cannot make it lah.

We are what we always do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit. -- Aristotle.

Last saturday, as my cell group hung out for fellowship at KFC at Plaza Sing, I was really convicted and inspired by Alvin's great attitude of excellence for God. He was telling us some examples of how he was in camp... how we must have the conviction to excel for God... how we must really have the Spirit of excellence in us... and yeah.. I guess it's good to want to learn new stuff and to face each day with a positive attitude... but that alone is not enough... we really have to take the initiative to go the extra mile and to really excel and shine for God. My gosh, looking at my own capabilities and my personality and character, I'm starting to doubt that I can really do great stuff for God in camp. Yeah, but oh well, I'll walk in faith and not by sight! I must stop having doubts.

Anyway this week have been really really really hectic for me. Almost everyday I had to stay back overtime. Even the earlier shuttle bus i took from my camp was 6.30. I was so dead tired these few days, I didn't do my quiet time for a few of the days... just lied on my bed and slept. Anyway I've not made much progress with the invitation for my church Big Day... I haven't even tried inviting my bro! I really have to work about it. I'm really really tired and stressed and haven't been faithful in inviting my friends... I'll have to find rest in God again!

Yesterday was great though. All my superiors were thankfully in a good mood... thursday a lot of them went to play pool and drinking and some of them were drunk so on friday they were still not back in their normal condition... thankfully on thursday I managed to evade the whole thing... they wanted to drag me to go drinking with them... thankfully i managed to evade so could go home and watch NARUTO!!! and Singapore IDOL!!! Yesterday was also great coz I went to my district that I usually go to for my Elderly ministry... and we had saturation... which means we go from door to door to invite the elderly to church. Some of them were really open. It was great. From 2 blocks alone, we got about 22 interested people. It was awesome! Our target was only 20. Hmm anyway I think doing the saturation with Maria ( one of the head dialect leaders, full time church worker) and Esther ( a former dialect leader, now cgl in the making i think) was really good, learnt some stuff from them. The saturation was really fruitful. Praise the Lord!

Oh the Get a Life card just sent us the email last week, saying all the Get a Life Card members will get a free makeover at Red Earth!!! Woo Hoo! I'm going to do the makeover with Xiuzhi (great friend of mine) one of these days. Free!!! What a deal. Mi gosh. Then when makeover le, I will be a shuai ge and all the girls will drool when they see me!! YAY!!!! :D

Psa 27:1 The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afriad?

Psa 27:4 One thing I have desired of the Lord, that will I seek: That I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to inquire in His temple.

Psa 31:3-5 ( one of my favourite chapters in the Book of Psalms) For You are my rock and my fortress; Therefore, for Your name's sake, Lead me and guide me. Pull me out of the net which they have secretly laid for me, for You are my strength. Into Your hand I commit my spirit; You have redeemed me, O lord God of truth.

Psa 31:14-15 But as for me, I trust in You, O LORD; I say, " You are my God" My times are in Your hand; Deliver me from the hand of my enemies, and from those who persecute me.

Psa 31:24 Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the Lord.

Ripped it off one of my distant friend's blogs.

Another sunrise, another day. Welcome to the beauty or surety of what we belive as a constant. Have you done all that you need to do today? Could you say "if i died today i leave with no regrets?" I cant, most of us cant. So live, live like there's no tomorrow, grasp the seconds, the minutes and the hours. Do what your heart desires, dare to love, use the power of expression, creation and witnessing to live out those dreams. Tell your loved ones you love them, mean it like there's no tomorrow. Live your dreams if ya already living them, live them like there is no tomorrow. For some of us are not as fortunate to already be living our dreams. Love, Forgive and achieve. Live each day as such, like it were your last, like there will be no tomorrow. Do not take the constant of sunrise for granted.

Excellant isnt it. how the month of September slips by right through your very fingers, like ghostly gossamers one would brush away when venturing the unknown caves of the future and eternity. I assure you, that this feeling of time slipping from your hands, like the slippery salmon from the hungry bear, is one feeling you would not want to experience when you are living your dreams, or when you are trying to seize that dream. Like the nile, the flow of time, like the flow of water, they are both endless, unstopping, cruelly unrelenting, stopping for no one. That is our mortality, and time, is the equaliser of all man. Success would thus be determined by what one can achieve more than others given that similiar quantity of time. Some would squander it, some would abuse it, but my friend, seize it and use it. Time is not a mere scenery you watch go by as you jouney on life's rocky boat ride through the endless oceans of life, time is truly a currency to be spent, to be used as a tool to acquire your happines, to secure your dreams, to love, to live and perhaps, just perhaps, to put a smile the face of that special someone, that special someone you commited to spend your life with. Time in vastness is wealth, not boredom,not inevitability. Lack something to achieve those dreams due to cirumstances? Then use time to change things, get a job, talk to a friend, excel in what you do, go to a church,make all the money you want to make in the world. do not let those precious sands of time slip through your hourglass. You alone control your youth and by now, those that are reading this bottled message, you are probably 2 decades old, stuck in limbo, studying, in the army, working and uninspired. Have you bungee jumped? Something you talked about but have yet to get to it. Have you loved? something you fret about but never act upon? Have you forgiven? Leave those wounds to fester then the love of your life and friends will soon leave you for you are a broken man, no longer daring to love, no longer daring to venture. Have you laughed? Truly the happy laugh, where you are at bliss, satisfied, overjoyed, brimming with joy and energy for tomorrow, because you are living your dream? Have you been selfish? To choose oneself over another? To love yourself just a little bit more, to give yourself the love you have already deserved? I tell you now my friend. No. Dont lie to yourself. Dont reply to my message, telling me im misguided, arguing with me about your bliss and happines. It will be a waste of time. If that raised an eyebrow, struck a nerve or caught your attention, chances are, you have many unfulfilled dreams, dreams you shelf for others, dreams that are not your own but others, dreams that people have forced you to believe that are dreams. Then switch off your computer, break out of your routine and live, love,hate,cry and emote. Evanescent. Do not fear your emotions, live them, express them, and seize time. Like Brad Pitt said "Immortality! its yours. Take it"

Beyond the gapping gulf that is death, lies the infinity of life and times - its limits only defined by what you make of it.