The Exclamation Mark Blog!

*** WARNING: this entry will contain vulgarities. if you're not comfortable with the use of vulgarities, please ask raymond to update this blog quickly so that you can skip this post or something. have a nice day! =)

***

something constantly bugs me whenever i flip through my copy of 8 days. it's practically the only thing i read besides books that make me think so hard i get a headache (i.e: conrad's heart of darkness.) so let's just say 8 days is probably my only worthy form of light reading.

but i digress. back to the thing that bugs me when i read the family friendly magazine...

notice how singapore's journalists have a weird hobby out of censoring rude words? either that or they find themselves forgetting how to spell said rude words. for example, we have f*** or f____, and sh*t. the first example, i would understand why they censor it. personally i found it a little too vulgar for everyday usage. but i just find myself wondering what is wrong with the other word.

take avril lavigne's song as another example. in "my happy ending", the line "all the shit that you did" was changed to "all the stuff that you did". before that, we have a censoring sound that sounds like someone trying to blow a trumpet but failed whenever avril tried to say "shit". in our newspapers and magazine, these so-called vulgarities are politely censored with asterisks and underlines, giving people a clear implication of what the author was trying to say but without actually spelling it out.

ok, i understand. we do not want to corrupt the next generation into thinking that it is ok to spew vulgarities in every alternate syllable. just like how some people righteously stood out against a possible corrupting element for the next generation, our government and many others scramble to keep our children's ears innocent by not-so-subtly erasing out what is deemed as offensive.

at this rate of censorship, i guess i should be surprised that eminem's songs didn't make it to our family-friendly radios sounding like some jazzed up ringtone in a nokia 8250 phone:

"but how dare you try to take what you didn't help me to get
you selfish *toot*, i hope you *toot toot toot toot tooooooot*."
- from "cleaning out my closet"

face it. even if the media religiously cover up these vulgarities, it has become common knowledge what these journalists want to say. besides, children these days become so smart, they will quickly grasp the meaning of fuck, shit and ass, together with our unique mix of hokkien vulgarities. such effort is plain ridiculous and wasted.

we're getting overprotected. help, i'm suffocating!

***

anyway, allow me to digress a little bit more before i end this post.

a) i hate mediacock. they screw everything up. mediaworks why did you have to go?!?! =( damn i'll just have to stick to cable and foreign productions now. screw mediacock. sheesh.

b) let's have a moment's silence in memory of all those who have been brutally killed by mother nature's wrathful tsunamis and earthquakes and pray that all will pass soon.

c) i'll have to start thinking about year 2004 and my new year resolutions. =|

thus i bid thee goodnight.

If you're a true-blue, die-hard, scream-your-lungs-out-till-you-hyperventilate fan who is insane (and that's a already an understatement) enough to chalk up a $5000 phone bill over Sly, and you have no capacity to listen let alone swallow any criticism towards your Prince Charming who will certainly never in your lifetime become your Prince, please do not read on.

If you're a normal being capable of logical thought and have the capability to rationalize and reason, and who is still baffled at Sly's surprising and totally undeserving position as the runner up of Singapore Idol, please read on.

Also, if you're an airhead and a Sly fan who fits the first category, and want to retaliate by defending Sly with inane comments, or to go ahead to cuss me with your your limited vocabulary, go ahead. Hit me with your best shot.

This week's 8 Days says:
Why is Sly Fly?
8days: He still points that skinny finger, winks and flashes that cheeky grin. And fans will howl in appreciation. One party is patronising the other. We don't know which.
I construe it as: He's a shameless camera whore, and makes up for his lack of talent by covering it up with "trademarks" that everyone is capable of doing. The fans screaming in delight over a talentless singer who isn't even good looking ( but can still pass off as cute to blind airheads) shows how much more shameless the fans are than Sly.

8days: He changes his hair colour more often than a Taiwanese boy band. He's bow-legged but braves the tight jeans. He drowns in a suit. Fans insist he has 'style'. We're not worthy.
I construe it as : It doesn't matter what you wear. Ugly means ugly. Michael Jackson in a Huge Boss suit will still look like the devil incarnate.

8days: He has the complexion of an eight-year-old. Puberty pressure and harsh conditions in National Service haven't affected him. amazing, but highly despicable. Yes, we're jealous.
Me: Guess I'm jealous too. But the disturbing fact is that he has a better complexion than at least half of his entire fanbase, most of which are of the Y-Chromosome crowd. The fact these Prince-charming fantasising, estrogen raging, shrill-voiced screamy girls actually still adore him is further proof that they are airheads. It'll be totally shameful for your Prince Charming to have better skin than you.

8days: He promises to be every fan's 'boyfriend'. And they believe him. It's not fair.
Me: Dude, I know a shameless jostle for more votes when I see one, man. To the fans: Aren't promises meant to be broken, yoz?

8days: He is neither spectacularly intelligent nor coherent. Despite the perpetually "lost" expression, his fans get him-- because he laughs nervously (like Beavis from Beavis and Butthead) at everything.
Me: His. Fans. Are. Dumb.

8days: He is perhaps the only one in Idol history to be wildly successful just after "smiling more". It takes 43 muscles to frown and only 17 to smile. blahblahblah. Why isn't he the face of Courtesy Campaign?
Me: Coz smiling is not = to courtesy, you brainless idiots. I can smile when you fall down the stairs. Courtesy, anybody?

At this point of time, I realize I should stop posting about these trivial, frivolous matters. Especially in the wake of the Tsunami that hit Sri Lanka so so so badly, and also other countries like Thailand and Indonesia. I just want to send out all my heartfelt condolences to anyone who lost any family members in the disaster. Sometimes you don't know why these stuff happen and I wonder all the time why these things happen. I ask myself, why does God want to create such nuisances to mankind? But God always has a reason, and His ways aren't man's ways. He works differently, and He has a reason for doing what He does. I'm sad for those lost in the accident, and I'm even more sad that I can't do anything for them. Life goes on for me, and everyone else. Including those affected by the accident. This all seems kinda cruel sometimes eh?

*** note: this post will be kinda centered upon my anger and annoyance at shitheads i met while playing in maplestory. i'm sorry if it feels like it's ego-centric or something. just needed to vent.

if there's something i would like to tell the entire world about me, i'll tell them this:

do not judge me by my looks. i'm by nature a quiet and passive person. i do not really adore conflict and take no pleasure in initiating quarrels. as a matter of fact, i prefer the peaceful way out. just do not mess with me and i'll leave you alone. easy enough?

unfortunately not everyone realises this and thinks i'm some kind of a pushover. they piss me off, sparking off a nice cycle of mutual annoyances. i do not appreciate assholes trying to push me around just because i am perceived as an introvert. as a matter of fact, these assholes might just unleash the mounting anger inside me and cause me to lash out. step on my tail long enough and you'll be dealing with a super pissed off marilyn. beware, i bite. hard.

when i rant against someone or something, it's usually with reason. when these assholes do funny things to provoke me without good reason, it counts as a reason for me to be angry. why? i was just minding my own business when they went to start a fight, and it's my fault now? what logic is there?

i am tempted to type out the idiot's username on maplestory here. should i forgive him because he does not have any brains? hmm...

*sigh* it's so hard to be a forgiving person when the world out there is just full of assholes and shitheads. =(

i have a guilty secret: i am a closet fan of singers such as michelle branch and alicia keys. i would dearly love to meet the cast of charmed, run into sarah michelle gellar, nicole kidman and julian mcmahon on the streets. in fact, i'll probably act like some brainless airhead when i see them, faint on the spot and make a total ass of myself.

but unfortunately, my fandom pales in comparison to some other singaporeans who think nothing of spending a month's allowance on their fandom and star chasing. oh the shame!

lately i've been amused by a two page spread on the fans of sylvester sim in 8 days. (ahhh it's nice to know that singaporeans do go ga-ga over our fellow countryman even after the singapore idol hype died down) i read how these fangirls whine about their darling sly not winning the idol competition, jump in jubilation at sly nabbing that toothpaste advertisement (how apt!) and that recording contract. now they're even showing off their support with $5000 phone bills.

such extremism makes my fandom pathetic. the only signs of my fandom is limited to a fansite and blogposts (crazy schoolgirl crush mode) exhalting my idol. oh i'm so cheapskate to the extent that i get people to host me instead of buying my own domain (actually, part of the reason is because i do not have a credit card but that's besides the point). the world keeps spinning nevertheless.

that aside, they provide much needed entertainment on that particular bus ride. i do not see the reason for such extreme reactions from fangirls. so what if sly lost the idol? so what if f4 and 5566 were in town? fangirls, please read: life goes on. nobody cares if you sold everything you have for your idol. all i did was to laugh at you for being such an asshole because sly is probably not going to marry you despite your massive phone bill. i also laugh at the way your life revolves around your idol. "sly lost the singapore idol! my life is over! *boohoo*" or, to be more up to date, "sly is going to be on some charity show! yay!"

it's unfortunate i tell you. i'm sure sylvester sim is a nice guy. too bad his followers are whiny/brainless. sad was the day when all 8 days could feature is their stupidity.

to the upper level fan girls: get a life. if you do not have one, find one.

***

rant's over.
i hope that christmas has been good for you!

raymond: i'm fine with a third blogger. sorry i've not been posting as regularly as i should. was hooked on maplestory (taking a break now. i am being plagued by bouncing orange mushrooms even when i'm not on the game.) and inspiration for blogging went on a nadir.. bah...

Anyone wants to be a 3rd contributor on this blog? Guest blogger? Lyn u think it's a good idea? Coz suddenly I realized sometimes I need to read the posts put up by you guys before I have the inspiration to post up something worthy to be read. I'm sufferring from the most acute case or writer's block, the most deadly pestilence to hit natural writers like me. I've said a million times that writing isn't a forced effort or contrived activity for me, but writing is really a visceral need of mine to let loose my feelings. But I hate typing to the screen, I'm really a purist at heart... I love to stick to pen and paper. but then again, I'm too lazy to write on paper sometimes! So Lyn if you're reading, post something~!! Give me something interesting to ponder about! Anyway, tomorrow morning I'll update you guys on how I spent Christmas!!

Lots of love and God bless you guys,
Raymond -- peace out.

Today Sister Annabel sang O HOly Night and Silent Night. Her voice is just... angelic! So annointed. I was really captivated by her voice. Oh well.... just her voice... since she's already married and 10 years older than me... no point getting captivated by her. Sigh!

Oh man. All my crappy posts, my endless rant-fest... they're relegating my blog to the league of totally uninspiring, unintelligent, unnecessary blogs! I have to start putting up some intelligent stuff quick. My mind is in a state of inertia.

All right, my thespian inclinations were exposed with incandescent clarity in my previous post with all my drama-mama rantings about my 2BFH. Haha, things aren't really that bad... but I just felt like ranting a little to get rid of some pent up frustration... though God has really sustained me and carried me on His arms these couple of days. He is indeed my strength, my rock, my refuge, my very present help in times of need. Anyway, today my Staff Sergeant ( for once I shan’t call him 2BFH) showed his magnanimous side when he offered me a lift to Parkway Parade (which is near my home). We had half day off today at camp due to Xmas, but my sergeant and I had to work overtime for about 1 hr+, and we missed the shuttle bus out of the camp. My 2BFH actually offered me a lift out! On his motorbike! Wow… I know I sound very swa ku, but really, it was an AWESOME experience!!! I’ve never sat a motorbike before and I just love the thrill of riding it… The wind blowing against you and you just zipping in and out of cars… Love it!!!

Anyway I was on leave on Thursday, and thank God it was approved at the last minute. Woke up at almost 9am... felt this visceral need to switch on my computer to do some much needed therapeutic blog surfing. So I went to visit Ms Beautifuk's site, Marcus's site, and some of the links on their blogs. The amount intellect you carry away after reading their blogs is just staggering. And most of their posts seem rather sincere so I enjoy reading them. But I must admit I'm sick of visiting some sites where some people posts all these elaborate, pretentious posts to impress people with their insight and linguistic flair, because at the end of the day they always fail to connect emotionally with their readers, and that is the essence of a good blog.
Ms Beautifuk's blog entries may come across as rather cynical and negative at times, but I do admire her derring-do attitude when it comes to expressing that bitch in her. haha. ( not that I like bitches).

After mustering every iota of my strength and creativity in my just-out-of-bed-too-lazy-to-move state, I decided to post up a few frivolous entries... I'm just too lazy to write anything more serious nowadays, including all my gripes with the horrible state of society and mankind. Haha. Chatted on msn for a short while with a few of my friends, then I got ready for lunch with my cell group member Alvin at Tampines Mall. So amazing how the morning just passes by. Was a little late in meeting him ( damn I need to do something about that vice of mine. procrastination and always being late!) but he was not in the slightest bit irritated. maybe 10min late to him was nothing. :D Ate at McDonalds with him, and indeed this bible verse resonated in the back of my mind… something about a small meal with great, wise people is better than a large feast with wicked people. Erm… I can’t exactly remember the verse, but you get the idea.

Alvin and I had a really really good talk. Shared a lot of stuff with him, let loose a lot of my emotional burden. Amazing how he coaxed me to share because the last thing I want is to open myself up to people cause I’m afraid to make myself vulnerable! I just hate making myself vulnerable and open, that’s why sometimes I find it so hard to share. Thank God as of late I’ve learnt a lot about opening up and sharing and learning also. Alvin shared some stuff with me too and I’m also quite inspired in some ways… really got me thinking about a lot of things. Amazing how much can happen in a short 1 hour lunch at McDonalds. I’m so grateful to God that I can finally share more openly with a Christian friend! At least now there’s room for mutual edification. Pro 17:17 and Pro 27:17 keeps ringing in my head. I really, really like talking with him. Anyway we later proceeded to GV to watch Kung Fu Hustle. The movie was darn hilarious. I laughed non stop even though I told Alvin that I would definitely not try to laugh too loudly. Haha I still laughed loudly… but luckily not too loudly that anyone would get annoyed. The fighting scenes are AWESOME. The choreography for the fighting scenes were done by Yuen Wo Ping ( The Matrix, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon) and it was radical!!! I really really really really want to learn martial arts. Haha. Of course I know what I see on television is totally unrealistic, but I the aesthetic aspect to me is not as important as the adrenaline rush you get while sparring. The movie was just awesome.

After the movie, we parted ways, and I went to meet my aunt at Bugis Junction to buy my Xmas gifts. I headed IMMEDIATELY to 77th street. I guess I’m so predictable. My clothes are either from G2000, U2 or 77th street. And most of the time I’m wearing 77th street stuff, sometimes from head to toe, including my bag! She was so generous, and though I kept telling her I’ll pay part of the total cost, she insisted on paying for everything: 2 shirts, 1 super cool metallic belt, and 2 boxer shorts. Total cost: $89! Then later I met up with my cell group member Eunice to shop for another cell group member’s present for our gift exchange. That member was kind of the typical urban chick, always clad in Mango and Levis etc. That’s why I got such a headache thinking of what to buy for that friend of mine coz I think honestly I’ve NEVER stepped into Mango or Zara or whatever before. I’m hopeless at shopping sometimes coz I’ve totally no patience in shopping and I just want to get done with it ASAP. That’s why when I shop, all I do is head down to 77th Street! It’s always the same thing. Haha. Sue me! Finally, after a really long, exhausting search for the present, we settled for a T shirt at Fox Women’s. I realized that after shopping with Eunice, I actually now know a lot of shop names and where the shops are. Like, I didn’t know there was a top shop at Seiyu at all. Coz I never ever bother looking at stuff from Seiyu at all! Everytime I go out, all I look at are:
1) 77th street stuff or hip street wear stuff at Bugis Edge or The Annex at Heeren
2) CDs at any music shop, though my favourite is HMV.
3) Books at any bookshop, my favourite being Kinokuniya.
4) Any delicious pastry or desert or ice cream stall.
5) Exercise gear for future use for jogging/tennis/gym

I HATE CHRISTMAS SHOPPING.

Ok, so about today, after booking out of camp and going back home, I took a really shiok nap in the afternoon, woke up after 2 hours, took a cab and rushed down to the Singapore Indoor Stadium where my church was holding its Christmas celebration. The queue was so amazingly long… grrr the bigger my church gets, the more kiasu the people become. People were queuing up as early as 2+pm!! What madness! The service was AWESOME because the presence of God was really in the place. I love singing O Holy Night. Such a Christmassy song. The dance item was phenomenal and blew me away. Those dancers also performed at Orchard Park on the 21st and performed at Orchard Park after today’s service and they blew everyone off down there. After the altar call was given, I went down to the front since I was a counselor and I was supposed to pray for new friends who responded to the altar call. That’s when I saw Li Nanxing! I was so amazed that he was also joining in the whole celebration and singing “I want to wish you a Merry Christmas”! Then he walked past me! That’s the closest I’ve actually gotten to a star!!! He was just like beside me!!! Oh man I sound so swa ku. Never got so close to such a big star before. But seeing a star in church, that’s just doubly awesome.

After the service, moi church friends and I headed down to Bugis and makan-ed there. Then we headed to Can Café… which is actually a bit similar to a pub… and we were just chilling there. I love chilling with my friends! It’s the best thing to do in the world!
A-iite, gotta catch some shut eye now. Update you guys more on my weekend tomorrow. Sorry for the boring post!! :D

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE AND MAY YOU ALL BE GREATLY BLESSED!

pardon the long lag in my blog posts. been addicted to a new game, maplestory so yeah. less irritating and more cute than gunbound. mindless whacking nonetheless. =p

that aside, the fact dawns on me just today.
christmas is tomorrow. or by the time of my blogpost, it should be in a few minutes time... uhhhh... yeah.

is it just me or does christmas just feel like a chore that marks the coming of the year end? it's the time when you start planning what to write in your new year resolution, it is the time when you start buying presents with that year end bonuses your parents earned... it's that time...

i used to be so excited over christmas. unfortunately i feel an inverse relationship between my age and enthusiasm for christmas. we do not even bother with the christmas tree or the logcakes anymore. and those gaily wrapped presents? nahhh. save the trees. just give the present to me.

i am not really sure of my objective in writing this post.

nevertheless, merry christmas everyone. may you enjoy this special day.

"Dear" 2nd Boss From Hell (2BFH ... shan't mention names here):

This is one of your underlings ranting about your utter bastardiness. 2 months in this hellhole and I've already had so many totally distasteful experiences with you. It's not like I don't try... and it's not like my mistakes are THAT bad. Perhaps when you said I'm not really cut off to be whatever I'm doing now, I should have just grabbed the opportunity to revocate. That would save me from a fate worse than hell... which is the path i see for you. I don't hate you, in fact I appreciate many things about you. So that makes you, in my eyes, a terrible-but-not-completely-evil Boss From Hell. I don't know what I'm talking about here. I already said in my profile I'm neurotic and manic depressive.

Have a good day.

I've seen the crimson of rage, the azure of despair... but I hope my heart will forever be bathed in the whiteness of purity.
--Raymond Tan

That's one of my Christmas wishes. To have a pure heart that is pleasing to God. But of course I have to translate that wish into action because this is not about wishes, but about choices.

Ok here's a quick review on the movies I've watched recently:

Umizaru:
This show will appeal v strongly to 2 different audiences: 1) those who want to be a man in a uniform or those who are currently men in uniform (e.g. National slaves like me)
2) those who like the look of a man in uniform (or out of it, for that matter). The show is about a new recruit at the Japan Coast Guard's elite school for rescue divers. He's the Cool Guy, and in the mix are Jerky Guy and Nerdy-blur-lovable-but-probably-gonna-die Guy. The recruits go through the usual stuff - male bonding, partying in town, getting to know the local girls, learning lessons about life and love-- what Umizaru lacks in originality it makes up for in exuberance. It's quite touching at times, although this movie employs very very standard techniques in stimulating your tear ducts. As I've said, this film is low on originality. Although there're many serious and poignant moments throughout the movie, it is still high on frivolity.
Rating: 3/5 stars(not bad. deserve to be watched)

Alexander
Story: About Alexander. (duh?!) There's a brief history on his childhood, teenagehood and this movie also touches on his homosexuality... he has his gay lover (acted by Jared Leto)... and his love for his gay lover supercedes his love for his 3 wives... though his incestuous relationship with the super gorgeous Angelina jolie comes closest to matching the whole gay relationship. There's a lot of crap throughout the whole movie, and the only part that shines in the movie are the battle pieces which showcases Oliver Stone's hyperbolic energy. I actually fell asleep for about 25 minutes. And considering the art house flick buff like me sleeping during a biopic, 'Nuff said.
Rating: 2/5 stars( should be 1.5, but Angelina Jolie pushed it up by half a star)

Ocean's Twelve
Story: Ok so Karma exists, as Ocean's Twelve proves. What goes around comes around, and this time, the guy who got robbed of 160 million dollars is after the 12. He gives them 2 weeks to pay back everything with interest. So the 11 race to execute another super cool, highly sleek heist to steal enough money to return him. In their way is another Master Thief , the 'Night Fox', and the super brilliant detective, acted by Catherine Zeta Jones. It's still a very glamorous production considering the acting calibre and stature of all the stars in it, albeit not as sleekly produced as the first. Still, it's a very cool film, and all the minor lame sub plots in movie can be forgiven.
Rating: 3.5/5 stars ( it's pretty sleek still, but not as good as the first. But Catherine Zeta Jones is enough reason to watch it :D)

Ok... So I'm gonna watch Kung Fu Hustle today... and I'm gonna watch my Before Sunrise VCD finally!!!! It's been 2 months since I've bought it but I've still not watched it. Going to meet up with my cell group mate Alvin for lunch, and watching movie with him. Following that my aunt is going shopping with me to buy my Xmas gift! Hurray!

Ok, not a serious post. Just a quick update on my day... so that my dear friends out there will be in touch with my life!

Oh man! Saturday has passed so quickly for me. Got up at 8.30, wanted to do some serious exercising in my hse condo gym ( which is terribly underequipped.) Went back to catch some more shut eye since I decided 8.30 is too early. Got up at 9.30 and went to eat some Famous Amos biscuits for breakfast, grabbed the Life! Section of today's newspaper and went back to my bed to read. That made me really sleepy again. Put my Linkin Park/ Jay-Z Collision Course CD into my walkman and played it for quite a while, with the hopes of it keeping me awake. Unfortunately, that was in vain too because I played it too softly. Grr... should have blasted it out full blast. So, no prizes for guessing. Yes, I went back to sleep and got up at around 12 noon. Wasted 2 and a half hours of my precious morning. Damn, I feel so wasteful. I hate sleeping so much, and I slept at around 1am on friday night. That means 11 hours of sleep! It's waaaay too much for my liking.

Slacked around in front of the computer, downloading and reading Naruto ( a japanese manga series) on my computer. At the same time, I was blogging, blog-surfing, chatting, stoning and reading the papers. Ate a dumpling for breakfast in addition to the Famous Amos biscuits. Also ate another dumpling for my lunch, since i was too lazy to make it down to the coffeeshop to get some food. Slacked till about 6+, bathed, made it down to Parkway for dinner with my 2 best jc friends, Kenneth and Tuan Hee. After some persuasion, they decided to go to Crystal Jade Kitchen with me for dinner. Had a yummilicioius Dumpling Shrimp Noodle and some Stir Fried Horfun with Seafood. Both dishes add up to about 20 bucks without service charge and GST.

Despite their persistent coaxing, I did not waver in my decision not to follow them to KTV. I'm never in KTV mood on saturday nights. Saturday nights are my chill out nights! They're waaaaaaaaaayy too precious to be wasted on KTV. So I went to The Heeren Shops to walk around and just chilled out at HMV... one of my favourite hobbies I must admit. I can just listen and listen to music non-stop. I just love U2's new cd... it's fantastic! I saw this Christian band's cd on display too and was quite surprised... they're called Delirious? and they're rather good. I also love our local band Electrico. Their cd is awesome! If only I had the money to buy all those albums. I was also really looking forward to Fantasia Barrino's album, since she was my favourite contestant on American Idol 3. Unfortunately, I have to say her cd was a little disappointing. It just doesn't showcase her vocals enough and it's such a typical black hip-hop/ R&b album. Still, she has the incredible "Summertime" on the album! It's absolutely awesome.

My wonderful cell group leader Sharon and cell group mate Dale met up with me afterwards, and we had a really nice chat and chill out session at Spinelli cafe since NYDC was packed. It was a refreshing time and I really had a v nice time with them. Went home and on the bus ride, kept playing my Collision Course cd non-stop. Love it to the core! Sat beside my condo's swimming pool for awhile reading my fav magazine, 8-Days... ( yeah I'm into tabloid and gossip, stuff long on frivolity..hehe) and then I decided to take a jog. Blame it on laziness... I only jogged like 10min? It was pathetic. Haha. These days I'm being hit with a overwhelming feeling of inertia. Yeah, blame it on business/laziness/newspapers/outings with friends/tiredness but it takes every single ounce of energy left for me to update my blog. Haha. I must still maintain that I love writing still, it isn't a forced effort for me at all, and it's definitely not a contrived thing. Writing,expressing my thoughts and feelings in words... it's just one of my passions in life. It's just that blog writing can be draining someimes because typing on a keyboard just doesn't seem to have the thereupathic effect on me unlike scribbling on paper. That to me is the novelty of writing. So that explains my inability to update on a super frequent basis. Well I guess 2-3 times a week is already pretty good huh?

Love all you readers out there. Keep tagging guys. Peace out.

the line rings loud and clear on its front-page:
"Do you want your children to grow up learning that it is OK to gamble?"

in response to that question, no, of course not!

sadly, a casino would not teach otherwise. singapore has survived without a casino for nearly 40 years, and yet we still have our gambling freaks whose hobby usually involves the kranji race course and your local toto/4d betting outlets. so how, may i ask, would a casino legitimize the notion that gambling is ok since singapore is going to own one?

i was put off by the overtly righteous tone that this petition took on. sure, i know there are people out there who are totally repulsed by the idea that singapore is going to have a casino. oh horrors of horrors! we should not have a casino because it corrupts the future generations of singapore. what we worked so hard to build up will be torn down by a generation of gamblers! while we're at it, why not close down all those 4d/toto outlets? tear down all your race-courses! we MUST protect the next generation from all these corruption!

you know what i think? if "you want your children to grow up learning that it is (NOT) OK to gamble" it's really a personal responsibility. if you, as a parent, do not teach your child that gambling is actually a vice, whether singapore has a casino or not does not make a difference. there is such a thing as an airline ticket to las vegas for the affluent singaporean. if you, as a parent, constantly hang out at the racecourse, hog that "bible" that is the racehorses guide, and constantly bring home those pink slips of paper we know as the lottery ticket, it does not make any difference to the child whether a casino is built on our sunny island because you are already telling them "it is OK to gamble"!

the existence of a casino would not make a difference. the right way out is proper moral education, which is currently questionable.

you want me to go on about how moral education is going down the sewers these days? i'll save it for another post.

[edit]: as an afterthought.. i was wondering if the creators (who are so concerned for the future of singapore) buy 4D or go to the racecourses. and do they indulge in vices such as smoking, litering, and picking their noses in public? if they do, i'm sorry. any ounce of respect i may have had for their courageous and righteous but hypocritical attempts is officially dead.

Marilyn, I've also had my fair share of bad experiences with 'good-willed' volunteers. All right, on 2nd thoughts, most of them are actually hesitant, apathetic, uncompassionate teenagers who put on a facade while doing CIP ( Community Involvement Project, which is compulsory in Singapore and part of the Singapore 'Education' System). Most of them in reality are just a bunch of ignorant, materialistic teenagers who are totally oblivious to the sufferrings of the less privileged. But I don't really blame them, because being raised up in Singapore has such an adverse effect on Singaporeans, especially the Gen-Y-ers.

See, we're often fooled by so-called Advocates of charity work. We see the countless of donation drives on TV... Like the NKF, President's STar Charity... etc etc. We're often spurred on by this facade of overwhelming compassion to also do our part as human beings with a heart. I mean, all the celebrities on those shows you see, they have larger than life statuses in Singapore and have an astronomically huge influence on the viewers. Half of the people you meet, when asked about such donation drives, will probably construe these 'donation drives on television' as shameless fund-pimping on the part of the charity organization. Of course, as a Christian and a human being, I feel for those afflicted with certain infirmities, but I for one definitely disagree with the whole idea of fund-raising on television, with the main pull-factor being celebrities clowning around executing lame stunts.

I'm not saying that it is wrong to have donation drives on television. But everyone knows that charity organizations' constant utilisation of celebrities to 'pimp' for funds is definitely an improper modus operandi for fund-raising. It's not a bad thing to raise awareness for certain organizations by electing a celebrity as a spokesperson. Certain disadvantaged groups with no outlet of expression whatsoever need a voice for them to reach out to the masses and bring awareness to the general public on their plight. Television is a very powerful tool to carry out that commendable deed. Still I lament the fact that the NKF and President's Star Charity have to resort to celebrities executing well choregraphed and rehearsed stunts to pull in funds. Maybe it's because they believe that by normal standards it'll be impossible for them to raise the amount that they have in mind. And that I totally agree. However, I believe that slowly, this ruse of theirs is going to lose its appeal and even with the biggest celebrity appearances, audiences would not even be spurred to budge and reach for that phone of theirs.

The root of the problem is education, and the imculcating of strong morals and compassion within the youth of the nation, especially the kids. It's a cliche to say that we in Singapore are so blessed we are barely exposed to the sufferring of the less privileged in the world ( which includes our tiny little island). We see all the caricatures of poverty everywhere: dirty, shabbily dressed, starving, chopstick-thin bald headed people in Africa with a cringe on their face all the time... some even begging incessantly for food. We grow so desensitized to their pain and plight that the plague of apathy invades our hearts. I believe more than anything else, we need education. We need to KNOW the kind of pain that these less-privileged people face... we need to know the pain of those starving, those parent-less, those abandoned, those dying of cancer and of some other malicious incurable disease. We need to feel their pain and we need to act.

2ndly, we in Singapore need to inwardly start changing our grotesque attitude of kiasu-ism. I guess kiasu-ism is so ingrained in our mindsets, entrenched in our $$$$$$$$$$-minded Singapore culture, that we are totally oblivious to the fact that we live grossly materialistic, superficial and pathetic lifestyles. We keep thinking when thinking of slipping that 10 dollar note into some Charity bucket.. " if i drop this note, doesn't that mean I can't buy my shirt/top/skirt/jeans/pants/bag/shoe/cosmetics or that I can go to that whatever restaurant to eat? Doesn't that mean lose out to that other guy/gal because he/she has more possessions/ eating experiences than me?" We need to just lose that mindset. My pastor always says, God is not against us having money, He is against money having us. Likewise, it's great to want new clothes and to want to visit posh restaurants to fine dine and also great to visit the wealth of spas/resorts available but it's too much if all that is so high on the priority list in your life that you can't even spare a miserable $5 note that can actually save a life?!! Isn't it ludicrous to know that buying a miserable piece of clothing can be more important to most people in Singapore than saving dozens in Africa?

Which leads me to my last point. I attribute all these kiasu-ism ( the root of kiasu-ism i guess is the competitiveness in Singapore) and materialism to the one thing most prevailent in Singapore: the lack of purpose in life. I believe at the end , our purpose revolves around one Person: God. I won't go all preachy here, I'll save
it all for another time, but I believe the lack of purpose in people, the failure to see an eternal reward after physical death all breeds materialism and short-sightedness and drives people on to lead hedonistic lifestyles. Even in the absence of the belief in God, which to me is really ridiculous, I think that at least people will see the true, ethereal joy of giving instead of just receiving. The Bible says it is more blessed to give than to receive... and that's true! Start giving now, folks. You'll be way more happy when you do than when you buy that Prada bag of yours.

i've been surfing around charmed sites and singaporean-based weblogs and i got kinda exasperated. i don't know how and what exactly was it i got fed up with: the bad quality of bitching or the absence of good writing to fulfill my senses.

singapore is notorious for weblongs overly decorated with singlish, bad grammar (or grammer, gramma, gamma, etc), speling and punctuation. oh, aNd lEtZ nOrT 4gEt oUr aLl tImE fAb sTicKEeeE caPzZzz... *mUacKsSss*. (insert fancy smiley here)

common symptoms of such blogs also are as follows: lacking in real content, oftentimes painful to read and they make you wonder if they had any brains in the first place. as this guy puts it, oftentimes it's about their crushes or boy/girl friends.

i wonder what others thought when they stumbled by these blogs. do they recoil in horror and attempt to find the cross button with eyes firmly clamped closed? or do they laugh at the apparent lack of brains that the majority of these singaporean (mostly girls, but guys are not exempted) people are persistently plagued with?

of the few local blogs with intellectual content (lifeatngeeann being the latest most enjoyable read), almost all groused about the lack of good blogs to read.

notice that of the three blogs i linked, singapore's most popular starbloggers, xiaxue and mr. brown are not included.

i suspect my already inadequate IQ has been dealt with severe damages by the annoying blogs that got me started on this post, which explains why i was unable to appreciate the apparent quality writing that the abovementioned starbloggers painstakingly present to us on an electronic platter. or maybe the things that made such starbloggers stars have diminished as they become more famous.

i do not claim to be naturally smart. after all, my SAT score was a humble 1240. and my PSLE aggregate was certainly not as high as i would like it to be. i'm just a normal girl struggling to rescue what is remaining of her intelligence.

one logical way certainly is to stop reading and avoid such blogs like plague. of course! (i really suspect i turned stupid.. =| ) unfortunately some of these stupid blogs belong to people i call friends and i have no heart to tell them that they are killing my IQ. besides, now that i do not see them much anymore, blogs become one effective way of keeping in touch - like knowing if my friend got bullied by that mean boy in school or whether her pet rabbit died.

but, seriously. after about 12 years of education or more, this is what we can come up with???

Sorry Marilyn... it happened again. I'm too lazy to post. Maybe it's just coz I was too caught up reading Naruto ( a popular Japanese series) manga on net or coz I was slacking too much chatting and then catching my fav America's Next Top Model. So I'll leave the long post for tomorrow to type out.

Anyway, Marilyn, I need to give you all the credit here for redesigning the blog! The design is smashing. All you readers out there... do you agree? For your info, I chose the picture at www.gettyimages.com . Marilyn was such a genius to refer me to that website haha... the pictures there ROCK. They're perfect for blogskins. Anyway, I chose the most kick-ass picture that I possibly could. I just love the picture I chose! I love the tee on the guy that says "what we do is secret" haha... Isn't that just radically cool? Thanks to Marilyn's brilliant designing, it turned out even more grunge and edgier. I'm loving the new look!

All right, I'll be spurred up to update my blog more regularly! I'm glad still that the importance of the contents of my blog is not diminished! That's why our layout is still really reader-friendly in that our text isn't confined to some miserable frame. Oh man. I'm raving non stop about the new design. I'll stop here pronto. Raymond out. Watch out for my post tomorrow!

if you didn't notice anything new about this blog, you must be either:

1. a newcomer
2. blind

'nuff said. X)

this is one of the reasons why i love blogger and i'm still keeping my account despite having have switched to the more stable livejournal - it allows full html control over your layout, right down to the very last detail. tinkering with my pages on lj could prove a headache when the html codes are unique to that site.

a little evaluation, comparison and a self-reminder why i'm still here when my ass should be at lj. =p

All right, yesterday was a good day for me, because I got to meet up with 2 long lost friends whom I've lost contact with almost totally since my JC days. So I was extremely elated when both of them actually decided to go for the Hip Hop Festival with me!

Khasrul, Valerie and I actually met up at Clarke Quay Mrt station at around 7+ to go the the Hip Hop Festival, which is held at Hong Lim Park just at the exit of Clarke quay Mrt station. The doors actually opened at 12noon and the performances are supposed to start at 3pm. When we moved in at around 7.30, I thought I was going to be really late and I was even afraid that I missed Taufik's performances, which is actually one of the biggest reasons why I even bought the ticket in the first place. As such, I even took a cab to Clarke Quay Mrt station, which was really redundant actually coz Khas and Val only came about 7+ and even if I was early, it'd be rather pointless... coz I didn't want to go in myself! Silly me. Should have saved the cab fare.

When we got there, we realized the stupid place was not on a cemented place. It was on some crappy field and the ground was soooo muddy! The whole damn ground was like a evil pestilence contaminating and poisoning my shoes, socks and the lower end of my jeans. MY POOR NIKE SNEAKERS!!!! They're my fav. Damn that ground! Anyway when we got in, we were shocked coz there were only i guess about 1000 odd people. At first the turnout was speculated to be about 3500++ people. I think the rain actually drove many of the people away. NO matter, although the atmospehere was rather bad, the most important thing was that I could see all the action!! Haha. No unnecessary neck straining and tiptoeing and no whining about the inability to see what's happening on stage. So i give props to the rain! haha.

Too bad a lot of crappy dance acts went up. Many of them couldn't dance for nuts. I guess only a few could really dance. And they weren't exactly sensational either. In fact I was also getting a little weary despite being so hyped up for the event, and despite my mad love for hip hop muZaaCCk. Khas, Val and I were so bored we went to the back to sit, and Val started showing us some really cool hip hop moves. Damn I totally dig those! but i really really need to practice coz i suck so much at dancing and I've not been clubbing for eons! Not that I want to become some cheongster but I don't mind going clubbing once in a while just to soak up the atmosphere and culture and to feel the rhythm in my bones!!! Khas said I need to go clubbing more. Haha... coz my dance was so stiff and I was a really slow learner when it came to that dance move. MAybe he's right!

So we just went around entertaining ourselves trying to make our 15 bucks worth it by summoning any remaining ounce of interest in us and trying to grrrrooooovveee to Da rhythm. Val kinda got a little pissed after a while and started ranting to Khas a little coz she was really hungry. So we kinda decided to leave early. However when I was about to leave, I stopped by one of the booths and started talking to 2 attractive ladies. Turns out one's a friend and the other's a relative of this rap/hip-hop group that was performing that night, called Soulid. They performed at the Esplanade on Friday either. I've never heard of them becoz I'm not like some fanatic of the local hip hop industry... I just support it coz I love hip hop music... Haha thank God for such a wonderful invention!!! Anyway i was chatting and chatting with those 2 attractive young ladies and time seemed to pass by so fast! Haha! And they sort of persuaded me to get that band's cd for 10 bucks, and I did. oh well. I couldn't resist it! Haha they were really quite charming. Anyway, all the time when this was going on, I didn't realize Val was actually complaning to Khas a lot. That poor gal was really hungry and I really understand... haha anyway I think we were all pissed for some reason. I was pissed coz i realized the concert was pushed back by 3 hours, and Val was pissed coz she was hungry, which is perfectly normal, and Khas was pissed coz Val vented her frustrations on him! So I guess we were all pissy. Whaha Khas later came back in and joined me in the flirting. Hahaha it's so fun! The gals were mad fun.*restrains myself from going overboard*. Val couldn't take it anymore coz she was really hungry so she left. Hmm I was worried about Val and Khas at first becoz they seemed to be pissed at each other but now turns out things are fine, smooth as usual, so I'm really relieved.

Anyway, Khasrul and I caught Taufik Batisah, Singapore's FIRST Singapore Idol in action!!! We were like 15 metres away from him only... and he performed in his group first, B' Vintage Flav'r... which is his old group Bona Fide combined with another group, Vintage Flav'r. HIs rap is awesome!!! Totally radical. I'm mad over it man. Then later he performed solo, singing 'Me and Mrs Jones', which he sang in the Sg Idol finals as one of the judges' choice. It's not actually hip hop, it's more of a soulful song but oh well it was still enjoyable. Khas was also quite fanatic too, but he was kinda distracted over Valerie and all. hmm but I'm glad things are great between the both of them now... they're really a very cute duo... and what's more unbelievable is that they're dance partners! Haha... u guys prove height is no barrier to anything! *wicked laughter*

AFter the gig, Khas and I took a cab to Crown Prince Hotel Swensens to eat. We were famished and ate like ravenous dogs. Wow. I paid about 30 dollars on some food and drinks, plus GST charge etc.. I treated Khas to the taxi ride and paid for the svc charge too. Haha. What a friend I am! hahaha. WE ate till about 1.40am? ARound there. Then Khas and I shared a cab back.
I officially declare I'm now broke.

My unnecessary expenditure and cab fare tabulated below:

Friday night:
Silly stupid redundant cab fare: $5 while rushing for cell group
Saturday:
Even more stupid redundant wasted cab fare while rushing to Clarke Quay MRT when I shouldn't even have rushed: $7.50
Val's and my tickets to hip hop fest (her tix is my treat): $30
Soulid's cd: $10
Taxi to Crown Prince Hotel : about $8
Swensens meal ( yummilicious Chilli Fish Pasta plus Calamari Rings plus Apricot Fruit Nector... damn I need to hit the gym soon) : $30
taxi ride back hm with Khas : paid $4 the rest by Khas
Taxi ride to church this morning to rush for the special Dr John Avanzini service: $15.50
Lots of food I ate today: $10

Total spent: $116 in 3 days. More than 1/4 of my allowance spent. Oh Man. Somebody help me.

"excuse me, miss, i wouldn't take up alot of your time. just give me a few minutes....*blah blah blah* would you like to buy a coupon/ticket?"

today was quite an exception. i shooed the girl off even before she could tell me what organisation she was volunteering for - my mother was waiting for me at bishan and my sister and i were running late. her second try consists of shoving the coupons into my face and a failing attempt to explain her cause. needless to say, i was rewarded with a bitchy stare for saying no the second time.

i should feel remorseful. i've deprived kids/handicaps/senile senior citizens of a meal and possibly could have been the indirect cause of someone's death because of my incharitable ways. but that lousy attitude i got from the volunteer (is it correct that i call her volunteer?) totally removed any particle of remorse and charity from my heart.

reasons for my harsh attitude?

for one, i am not obliged to contribute. those coupons will deprive ME, a student who gets about $5 allowance a day, of a decent meal, knocking at least $5 from my wallet and making it remotely more empty. if i were obliged to give to every single person who asks me for $5, i would be the one who requires the charity and not kids/hapdicaps/senile senior citizens because i'll be starving to death.

secondly, to ask me to give a lump sum of $5 is simply exhortion. it's one thing to give some coins to those little tins, but to give a nice $5 to some obscure charity for a dubious coupon? that's way too much if you ask me. besides, how would i know what my money would be used for? if i really want to be fleeced of my money, there's always hmv, starbucks and kinokuniya for me to get ripped off.

third, i felt i did not deserve such a bad attitude from that volunteer. as i said, i have no obligation to donate. respect this right of mine and at least give me a smile and be grateful that i've actually acknowledged your presence. others would have been worse, treating you as transparent or verbally abusing you. the moment you gave me that contemptuous look any second thoughts of donating to you vanished immediately. thanks for saving me a guilt trip.

also, upon your decision to volunteer for such a task would indicate a recognition that you would have to face rejection. not everyone has the $5 (especially a student, of all people) to give to your charity. if you want to take up such volunteer work for charity you must be prepared that people would wave you away. (majority of us would, seeing that you're going to take money off us.) so quit it with that attitude. it's human nature. just in case you didn't know, singaporeans are an apathetic lot. a homeless man can be dying on the streets and 70% of our population can pass by without giving a damn. while i pity you for having such a tough community assignment, you have no right to be angry at me for my refusal to donate. can you safely assert that you will donate if i were to shove the coupon into your face and demanded $5 from you?

if you want to do charity work, do it with a sincere heart and a ready smile. i don't care if you're tired or too pissed by too many refusals. if you cannot take that, you either find some other way to fulfill your community service or stop being such a hypocrite, forcing yourself to look better by doing charity work. as for me, just forget about asking me to buy that coupon of yours. if i really want to contribute, i'll do it my way - a more meaningful way.

charities should stop pulling such gigs. it's unreasonable to expect people to give lump sums to you unless they are rich (that which makes up a small percentage of our population. for your information, the majority of us are NORMAL people struggling to maintain our lives. wake up and smell the coffee.) besides, how would i know if i were giving $5 to some rich man's pocket? how would i know that my money will be going somewhere meaningful? last but not least, if you have the resources to pull off such gimmicks to print and distribute glossy coupons, why waste them on trying to fleece people of money? why not just direct them to make your beneficiaries' lives better? stop being such hypocrites by calling yourselves charity. you insult that term.

forgive my cynicism, but that is basically the reason why i scorn nkf and those organizations with those huge fancy fundraising shows. to contribute money to them is to contribute to the already widening gap between rich and poor. hypocritical glitz and glamour. how would we know the money we give them (by the millions) is actually given to the deserving and not to those volunteers who help out in nkf?

charity, anyone?

Week's been rather busy for me. I had a few highlights though.

Monday was the second last episode of America's next top mode. Next week it'll be the last!

Tuesday: Got deceived by my sickening sergeant. Don't want to elaborate. Next time I'll be wiser when it comes to certain things.

Wednesday: SINGAPORE IDOL WAS AN ABSOLUTE BLAST!!! THE STADIUM CROWD WAS AMAZING. IT WAS ECSTASY! but more on that later. I'll post it at night.

Thursday: Bible Seminar at church. Rushed down in time but took a 22 dollar cab. Took a 5 dollar cab from paya lebar mrt station to return home. Grrr. All moi money's gone.

Friday: Had a super boring unit dinner and dine event. But thank God for the time to bond with some of the army mates!

finally. taufik's win serves to show two things:

1. singaporeans do have an ounce of sense, national pride and aren't all that tone-deaf. thank goodness.


2. well.. words basically can't describe my delight at the defeat of the tone-deaf and brainless fangirls. the silent and more sensible majority in singapore has spoken.

now that singapore idol has wrapped up, though, we see the ugly side of singaporeans and capitalism again.

have you guys heard about that one wherein people sold free tickets to the finals on ebay and yahoo auctions? the same thing that happened with our national day tickets, mtv asia awards... whatever.

cheap, backhanded and plain unethical. what's more laughable and low-down is this:

some people actually auction off their votes for money. let's see, from what i read... $800 for 600 votes for sylvester sim. that means the guy makes a cool $500 from this.

now, now. this won't work! this would not do!

isn't it cheaper to send in 600 votes for sly yourself instead of parting with an extra $500 for others? while i did say that those fangirls are stupid, but do you think they are that stupid to give extra money for their idol? if they had the money, $500 can give sly another 1000 votes! (which might have made all the difference tonight)

i wonder if anyone was really stupid enough to take that guy up on his offer. if so, congrats to him for nabbing a dumb catch.

the evils of capitalism kicks in.

while taufik has won, the real winner is actually starhub. gurmit said that there is a total of 3 million votes casted through the whole duration of singapore idol. this translates into a cool 1.5 million buckeroos for starhub. a pretty wide profit margin for them if you ask me.

the world is unfair. capitalism breeds inequality while communism is an ideal that holds no place in reality.

that's it. i'm going to move to some deserted island and create an utopia - a place where there's love and harmony, where war is a word erased from the dictionary and where there are no capitalists to exploit your money - there all for myself and my loved ones. trespassers not allowed. and you evil capitalists who claim that piece of land is yours, shove off and leave me alone.